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Chapter Twenty-Six
A Turning Point
Elizabeth’s relatives departed Samuel estate without
Mama’s sickly aunt, none the wiser about Samuel’s mysterious guests. When Elizabeth was feeling better, she
and John also returned home, which was just as well since John had no desire to
attend Gamaliel’s school. In the
following months, I tried to put the gold I had lost and guilt I felt out of my
mind, but it followed me like a shadow.
Since I had began hording treasure, it felt as if the Evil One was
dogging my trail. My routine had
been simple until Gamaliel’s school began in Samuel’s house. Before that fateful day, I would arise
in the morning with my family, eat breakfast, work in the shop and garden, have
lunch, and then romp freely in the yard and hills until suppertime. Once in a while when no one was
looking, I would check on my treasure.
Because Uriah and Simon had always been close by, it would always be a
quick glance. A few times I merely
brushed the pot with my knuckles as we looked for ripe berries. No one had been the wiser. For all I knew, though, it could have
been emptied before the day Michael ran away. Now, with Papa’s business increasing and our efforts divided
between school and carpentry, there was little time for play except on the
Shabbat and when Papa’s orders for furniture were finished. Even then, when Simon, Uriah, and I had
time to ourselves, it was not the same.
The lure of the yard and the hills beyond, which had become synonymous
with treasure for me, had lost its luster. Childish games such as tag, hide-and-go-seek, and rock toss
no longer filled the void.
Something else, I realize now, was missing, more complicated than mere
treasure. There were other,
greater, treasures of the heart and the soul. The memory of Nehemiah, the most loyal friend I would ever
have, still haunted my thoughts.
In spite of how he turned out, I also missed the adventuresome spirit of
Michael and even the brief friendships with Caleb and Horib’s sons.
I still had Uriah as a friend, of course, but it
wasn’t enough. Uriah was changing
too.
My last glimpse of Longinus riding away on his great
black horse was a constant reminder of what I wanted to do with my life. He was, I can say in retrospect, the
consummate soldier, containing in his person all the noble qualities I
envisioned in a Roman knight. This
was, I now believe, true for the optio Regulus and, though we seldom saw him
anymore, Cornelius, whose report to the governor, was the reason for the Roman
protection of our town. On the
other hand, I had learned that there was a dark side to Roman soldiers. They were unpredictable at times,
disrespectful and mean-spirited one moment and cheerful and uncaring the
next. In many respects, Priam and
Falco, though I still had some fondness for them, were typical of Nazareth’s
guards. Unlike the shining
examples of Cornelius and Longinus, they were the kind of legionnaire I
didn’t want to be. I didn’t
want to become lazy and shiftless.
I well probably never forgive them for roughing up Boaz, Jethro, and
Obadiah and the disrespect they showed us that day. Nevertheless, all things considered, I was glad that the
Romans had returned. I looked
forward to meeting Priam and Falco on their rounds and seeing the centurion and
optio riding by again. Neither
Simon nor Uriah had been particularly close to Nehemiah and had never been fond
of the Romans like me, but I longed for those carefree days. I had seen Simon, like James and
Joseph, smile with satisfaction when they heard that Michael was gone. I couldn’t blame them. We had hoped, with Michael gone, that
our lives would return to normal.
I was happy to see our protectors back, but it was not the same. The murder of Regulus’ brother in
Sepphoris, the reception given to the Romans upon their return, and their
treatment of Caleb and Horib’s sons had soured the mood. James and Joseph would never accept
their presence in our lives, especially after that incident in town. Yet the Romans, my fair-weather
friends, and the events preceding our Coming of Age were not to blame. Something abstract and intangible, I
could not put into words, had changed the course of our lives.
We never talked about it. It was just there: an awareness that we were somehow
different. It seemed that Samuel
and Gamaliel had been correct about our transition after the ceremony at
Samuel’s house. We were no longer
children. Gamaliel’s expectations
for us—to start behaving like young men instead of children—was being fulfilled
each day. For me it was far worse
than it was for the others, for I had lost more than my childhood. I had lost my gold. I can’t believe that Simon ever knew
about my treasure. Surely he
couldn’t have kept that to himself.
Yet, there were times when I was sure he would finally ask me point
blank “whatever happened to your pot of gold?” Fortunately for me that moment never came. Gradually, as we grew into our roles as
carpenters in Papa’s business, our exploits evolved clearly from childhood
games to youthful adventures, which included accompanying Papa on his business
trips to Sepphoris, Caesarea, and Jerusalem.
During such trips, which amounted to holidays for
us, we helped Papa unload furniture for customers and load up on lumber and
supplies before returning home.
Success for Papa’s business had provided me with the opportunity to
learn about the surrounding world.
I could see in their eyes that James and Joseph felt the same way. Uriah was dead set on becoming a
carpenter, and so was Jesus, who would inherit the business if Papa died, but
the rest of us had no intention of spending our lives in our backwoods town.
In our mutual wanderlust, my three brothers and I
shared common ground. Now that I
think about it, the most important development during this transitional period
was James and Joseph’s begrudging acceptance of Simon, Uriah, and me as
associates, if not equal partners, in Papa’s carpenter shop. Because of the old prejudices lingering
in Nazareth, neither their friends nor Simon and my onetime companions came
around very much. Most of our
friends’ parents only spoke to Papa when he was called upon to repair a roof or
piece of broken furniture. In
spite of these intervals, the healing was slow. Our house remained out of bounds. This would change when we became adults and, as Paul would
one day write they “put away childish things.” By then, of course, the old hostility ignited by Rabbi
Joachim over my family’s protection of Mariah and her son, Papa’s feud with the
rabbi, and the distrust townsmen had for the oldest son would be things of the
past. Papa’s business was
gradually but steadily wearing down the prejudices of townsfolk. Jesus handling of the carpenter’s shop
impressed many doubters. The fact
that Mama was nursing Joachim, our onetime enemy, and that Samuel, a
respectable Pharisee, had taken us under his wing also helped strengthen our
standing. The most important
factor in the rehabilitation of our reputation, however, came from without,
rather than within, our small town.
This event came a few months after the Romans returned to our town. Gamaliel had invited his cousin Aaron
to take over the synagogue in Nazareth until Joachim’s health returned. I know now, of course, by hindsight,
that Joachim’s health would not return.
When, many years in the future, Jesus returned to town as a preacher,
instead of carpenter, Aaron would still be Nazareth’s rabbi.
He arrived one afternoon at Samuel’s villa in the
company of legionnaires, a jubilant event, in spite of the reason for the
soldiers’ presence. There was,
Longinus shouted hoarsely, a new band of brigands in Galilee, led by Abbas’
son. When I heard this startling
news, I gasped from sheer surprise rather than fear. After my incredible experience with this young man, I still
considered him my friend. I could
almost admire this daring fellow for his audacity. He had only been a year younger than Jesus when he
disappeared from our lives. Now
here he was, by my calculations, barely seventeen and leading a new gang of
thieves. When Longinus spoke to
the assembly and politely shared wine with townsmen and his men, the Romans
held the public’s interest. There
was a minority of men grumbling about their show of force and a few hotheads,
silenced by threats from the majority in the background, grumbling to
themselves, but the very name Abbas struck such fear in our town. A collective sigh of relief could
almost be heard when Longinus promised that an increased number of mounted
sentries and perimeter guards would be stationed in Nazareth, along with the
existing forces, both day and night.
Though I respected the foot guards tramping through our town, nothing
impressed me more than mounted knights.
With the news that Cornelius Cohort was guarding the cities of Galilee
more stringently, we knew what this meant to our daily lives. Longinus ended the festivities with a
curt reminder that the rules we Nazarenes followed before were even more
important now. There would be no
unauthorized congregations greater than two persons at night, since Roman
soldiers found it difficult to distinguish bad Jews from good Jews, especially
in the dark. I didn’t see our
onetime guards Priam and Falco, but I glimpsed Regulus in Longinus’
detachment. Lately, we hadn’t seen
much of our daytime guards. The
reason for this had never been made clear. I said a prayer that moment that everything would return to
normal: Priam, Falco and the other guards marching up and down the Shepherd’s
Trail, more sentries, as Longinus promised, galloping through town, and my
onetime gang reassembling and hiking merrily through the hills.
When the Roman detachment had rode off and the dust
cleared, Aaron, the new rabbi of Nazareth, stood there, scrolls crammed under
in his arms, barely five feet tall, the smallest rabbi I would ever know. The contrast between such an impressive
figure as Gamaliel and this slight man would have been humorous had it not been
for the final words from the centurion’s mouth: “there will be no disrespect
shown toward my men as there was last time. We shall respect you Jews. You, in turn, shall instruct the hotheads in your midst that
all acts of civil disobedience shall be dealt with harshly in the severest
fashion.”
After almost falling off his animal, Aaron had
climbed awkwardly off the large mule loaned to him by the Romans to await his
turn for the audience’s attention.
He was, in the dust and commotion, a mere shadow, whose impact upon our
town could never have been imagined at this inauspicious moment. Word had gone out that he would arrive
with the soldiers (for his own protection), yet we had almost forgotten about
the traveler in their midst.
Though it didn’t seem like it at first, the realization occurred to us
when he began to speak that two momentous things had just happened in our town:
the Romans were increasing their forces in Nazareth and our town once more had
a rabbi. The rabbi’s thick, black
beard and forehead locks almost hid his small face. The words that came out of Aaron belied his small size.
“Greetings citizens of Nazareth,” his voice boomed
resonantly. “My name’s Aaron bar Hammon.
My home, like you, was once in Galilee. I’ve traveled to many lands seeking the ultimate truth, only
to return home and realize it was here all along. Traveling to Rome, Greece, and Egypt, I’ve been a stranger
in a strange land. But I’ve
returned. Our faith, I can attest,
is best felt in our holy land.
Here Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses molded our people into a great
nation. From a distance, when I
saw the lovely hills of Nazareth, I felt as if I was home. I shall raise a family here; the Lord
willing I shall be buried here. I
shall, in my lifetime, do my utmost to help your children and their children
know and love our history and language as much as me. If you will allow me, I would like to have the old synagogue
remodeled and enlarged so it will accommodate a growing congregation. I shall use my own funds. Like yourselves I am willing to invest
in our city. Your will, as
citizens of Nazareth, share in this growth. We shall work together and pray together. Please let me know your thoughts today
or tomorrow. As God’s servant, I
am your servant too. The shepherd
needs the goodwill of his flock.”
The crowd broke into cheers and surrounded the
little rabbi, who had stolen their hearts and imaginations. I was much taller now, but I couldn’t
see above the townsmen’s heads, so I ran back to the entrance of Samuel’s
estate and climbed up on one of the great stone vases to look down upon the
speaker, now taking questions from the crowd. The questions, which came from several different townsfolk
and his clever answers, summed up in my mind the type of teacher and spiritual
leader Aaron bar Hammon would be.
“What sort of things will you teach our children?” a
man cried out.
“From the word of God and the hand of Moses shall
they be taught.” Aaron answered promptly.
“Tell me rabbi,” a second man stepped forth, “why
would a stranger, whom we don’t even know, rebuild our synagogue?
“My family’s wealthy.” Aaron explained with a shrug.
“Money, in itself, means little to me.
I wish to share my inheritance with all of you, my new friends.”
“We know why we’re here,” a third voice rang out,
“we were born and raised here, but why would a worldly man of learning like you
stay in this backwoods town?
Aaron replied dreamily, “A town is as small or large
as the heart of its people.”
There were many such questions, some of which were
more crudely put. One warty
misshapen fellow, who seemed to be drunk on wine, asked the rabbi why he was so
short? This brought a ripple of
laughter in the assembly. Many
people were suspicious of Aaron’s intentions. I heard one elder grumble to himself, “This man is either a
fool or addled in the head.” Most
members of the crowd of men, though, gave the rabbi respectful and fond
looks. In less time that it took
for the Roman detachment to ride into Nazareth and reestablish itself, Aaron
had won over our town.
Samuel, we were later told, had been overcome with
exertion and was escorted into the house before Aaron gave his speech, but
Mordechai, the chamberlain, appeared suddenly on the scene during the question
and answer session to rescue the rabbi from the inquisitive townsmen. Upon closer inspection, as Aaron
followed Mordechai into the house, he had large piercing gray eyes, finely
carved features beneath his flowing beard, and tiny delicate little hands. If his beard and hair on his head were
trimmed properly he might be considered handsome by women’s standards, but he
was so very short. He talked
ceaselessly, rephrasing what he had said before, to make his point. His quick, decisive gestures were puppet-like
as he chattered to the townsmen, and yet when I closed my eyes, the voice I heard
might have belonged to a big burly man, rather than this dwarf.
During
the feast served in his honor, at which many of the town’s elders were invited
to attend, Papa took a liking to this strange man. Aaron shared none of the dark prejudices of Joachim, the
previous rabbi. The subjects of
Mariah and her son Michael and Jesus onetime eccentricities were never brought
up. As I listened to the rabbi
discuss his views with Papa on the Torah, he sounded tolerant and reasonable,
very much like his cousin Gamaliel.
The fact that Aaron shared his cousin’s observance of the great Hillel’s
teaching caused a few eyebrows to raise among conservative elders, but everyone
appeared to like his enthusiasm for our town, especially since he would pay for
the repairs to the synagogue himself.
Samuel had promised to do this but never got around to it until the
subject was brought up during the meal.
Naturally, he offered to share the cost, and, not to be outdone by
Aaron’s willingness to invest in our town, even promised to repair the stone
bridge over Nazareth’s dried up stream.
It was plain to see that Aaron’s sterling presence in Nazareth had
already effected changes. If his
deeds were as good as his words, the new rabbi would fill the void left by
Joachim’s illness.
As I write the chronicle of my family, I know that
another important character for Jesus future ministry had entered his life, but
that first day after his arrival in Nazareth, I wasn’t sure how I felt. Aaron talked far too much for my liking,
using lofty sentences and exaggerated gestures far out of proportion to his
words. Jesus, who had been seated
across from him, found the rabbi amusing.
I think he had seen through the rabbi’s pretensions. As a mere youth, though, I was more
influenced by his physical movements than his complex verbiage. When the rabbi was not talking about
world architecture with Papa and that trivial, many faceted chatter with other
diners, he was discussing fine points from the Torah with Jesus and Samuel: the
Jewish conception of heaven, the nature of Satan, free will, and natural sin.
As always, I ate heartily as did Uriah and my four
brothers, while Tabitha and my sisters had spoiled their appetites by stuffing
themselves with sweat meats before the meal. This time, with two rabbis and a table full of Pharisees and
town elders present, it was impossible for us to sneak a swig of wine. Jesus was positioned across from us,
watching our every move. When the
dinner was over and the men and their wives retired to the garden, many youths
naturally gravitated out the front door and into the nearby woods to flee from
serious discussions. This was not
the case for members of my family.
Because of the implications of many of our old enemies sharing wine with
Papa and the new rabbi’s friendliness toward him, we felt we had a stake in
their conversation, so we tagged along after Jesus, who was caught up in a
polite argument on Isaiah’s controversial passage about the universal God. Samuel, who might not have been feeling
well, disappeared after the meal.
Papa and Ezra were quite tipsy at this point or they would have steered
Jesus away from this topic. I was
delighted by the young rabbi’s good-natured criticism of Jesus central ideas:
the universal god and salvation for Gentiles.
“Let me get this straight,” Aaron said, laughing
softly to himself, “you believe that God is universal and the Romans and Greeks
should share our covenant with God.”
“I think, if they discard their paganism and wish to
join, God will accept them. Did he
not accept Ruth, the Moabite and many gentile converts already? Is he not already a universal God.”
“No,” Aaron replied, shaking his head, “he is a
Hebrew god. To join, one must
become a Jew first, convert second.
The vast majority of Gentiles will not convert to our faith because of
the mutilation that is required, the dietary requirements, and change of
lifestyle. To call him a universal
god, dilutes our position as the Chosen People.”
Though it was plan to everyone listening that the
rabbi politely disagreed with Jesus’ views, my oldest brother had once again
stirred up controversy among conservative Jews. Upon hearing this exchange, the elders grumbled to
themselves in dismay. Even
Gamaliel, who encouraged an open-minded approach to studying the Torah, found
the implications of Gentile converts to Judaism to radical to accept.
“If the Roman or Greek thought like us, it would be
one thing,” Gamaliel replied thoughtfully, “but Aaron is right: we—Jews and
Gentiles—makeup two different worlds.
There’s no question that God, who created the heavens and earth, is
universal, but throughout our history He never once called Himself anything
more than the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and the Israelites. After the Flood, God singled us out continuously. Did he not command our patriarchs to
wipe out the pagan in the land bestowed upon us? Our scriptures were not written for anyone but early Hebrews
or conquering Israelites.”
“You believe that only Jews merit salvation?” Jesus
frowned.
“What is this word salvation?” Aaron shook his head.
“You seem to be talking about a brand new religion Jesus.”
“No,” Jesus responded quickly, “the word might seem
new, but not the religion. There were men taken up for their righteousness to
prove the existence of paradise.
Elijah and Enoch were rewarded this way for their goodness. I believe that when other good,
faithful people die, they can also share heaven with the Lord.”
“Be that as it may,” Aaron heaved a pent-up sigh,
“the Lord’s ways are mysterious, but our history is Jewish and its laws are
black and white. Perhaps our
Messiah will bestow God’s good graces upon other peoples of the earth, but
until then they remain Gentiles—outside of the covenant with our Lord.”
Jesus set his jaw. His eyes blazed as they had in the orchard. “Consider Adam and Eve, Noah and his
sons, Methuselah, a roving priest, and the righteous Enoch, who escaped death
when God took him straight up to heaven.
These people were not Jews.
They were descendents of Noah, by definition Gentiles. In fact, there’s no evidence in the
Torah prior to Abraham’s covenant, that dietary restrictions, mutilations, and
lifestyles differed from the pagans at all. The only thing that mattered back then was faith.”
Aaron uttered a nervous laugh. Gamaliel stroked his well-oiled
beard. Everyone else, including
myself, gasped at this apparent heresy.
The little rabbi was being much to gentle with this
young man, Gideon muttered to Habakkuk.
Mama tried unsuccessfully to sway the conversation to Samuel’s lovely
plants. Samuel’s enchanting garden
had been the light conversation of the women during our feast. The spectacle of Jesus angering
townsmen and spoiling the mood caused all of us, even the complacent Uriah, to
mutter protests in the background.
Sensing, though not quite comprehending that Jesus was uttering
blasphemies, Ezra frowned fiercely, while Papa gave many of them challenging
looks. Mama and Naomi, who had
enough trouble with their drunken husbands, pulled them both aside and scolded
them. A few of the other elders,
who were also in their cups, were also restrained by their wives, as the
argument was joined by Habakkuk and Gideon, who had not drank as much wine.
“Jesus is speaking heresy again, like he did
before,” Gideon said accusingly. “We don’t cast pearls before swine.”
“No, no,” Habakkuk disagreed, “all that traveling
has made him sympathetic to the Romans and Greeks. I’ve met many good Gentiles, even among the Syrians. Why shouldn’t righteous Gentiles merit
heaven?”
“Because,” growled Gideon, “they’re unclean. Romans are pigs!”
“No, that’s unfair!” Jesus shook his head. “You
don’t know our guards. Many of
them are good men. Not all
Gentiles are bad. Perhaps you’ve
forgotten the words of Isaiah: ‘This is the plan determined for the whole
world. His hand is stretched out
over all nations.’ ”
“That’s taken it out of context,” snorted Gideon.
“Your twisting God’s words.”
“No, he’s not.” Habakkuk glanced at Aaron. “I
remember reading that. Isaiah also
promised believers heaven. Surely,
you remember that.”
“Yes, I do.” Aaron smiled with amusement. “Isaiah
has said many strange things.”
Some
of the other elders nodded at this recollection. The wives, always more tolerant than the men, agreed
heartily. Mama grinned happily at
this scene, in spite of Papa’s condition.
Ezra’s frown faded, perhaps because he was drunk. Though Jesus was making a great
impression upon the rabbis and guests, Ezra and Papa would remember little
about this evening.
Simon,
James, Joseph, Uriah, and I, however, clapped our hands with delight.
Gideon and only two of the other men disagreed with
Isaiah’s words. Of all of Jesus
youthful confrontations with tradition, I remember this one especially because
of its impact on his reputation in our town. A consensus was established between townsmen at Samuel’s
feast that changed his status from heretic to free thinker (as Hillel had been,
himself). Those townsmen who
agreed with Isaiah appeared to outnumber those who didn’t. Even the normally narrow-minded Joseph
was happy to see Jesus prevail.
It was never made clear to me whether or not Hillel, in fact really
agreed with Isaiah on the salvation of Gentiles or if the elders and rabbis
actually accepted Jesus notion of a universal God, but no one could challenge
the authority of the greatest of our prophets after Moses. After bringing up the subjects of
universalism and Gentile salvation espoused by the sage and hearing the rabbis
and Gideon’s disagreements, Jesus very wisely gave Isaiah the credit for this
notion, whose wisdom Gamaliel and Aaron couldn’t deny. What had seemed like a precarious
subject, had therefore become a quarrel between interpretations of
controversial passages, the two halves of Isaiah, who prophesized the
traditional Messiah for Jews, but also believed that God was universal and was
here for the Gentiles too.
Not mentioned in their conversation was the most
controversial of all the conflicts in Isaiah’s writing: the passage about the
Suffering Messiah. Very wisely,
Jesus avoided this subject during the discussion. Though it had troubled him before, it made no sense even to
him. The truth about this
passage, like his divinity, would not be revealed until his mission began.
******
Everything had begun with Samuel’s generosity in
hiring Gamaliel as our teacher, but it was Gamaliel’s success in bringing a
rabbi to our town to replace Joachim, that did most to repair my family’s
standing in our town. Yet, because
of Samuel’s friendship with us, it was all set in motion. Nazareth’s synagogue would be reopened
for worship and its children and youth would learn to read, write and learn our
people’s history and laws. This
fact alone helped bring factions of our town—those friendly to my family and
those unfriendly to my family—together once more. Several people, who had not attended the feast for Aaron and
who had not spoken to Papa for years would, when they had the chance, thank him
personally for this event, though Papa, himself, had known nothing of
Gamaliel’s invitation to the young rabbi.
Papa was drunk during the feast and could barely recall his name. The reason that they gave Papa some of
the credit for Aaron coming to Nazareth, which was a major factor in the
healing process, was the immediate friendship Aaron struck up with my
family. Independently wealthy as
his cousin Gamaliel, he requisitioned Papa to manage the building of a house
for him in the hills near Samuel’s estate. This would give many of the young men in town employment and
keep us busy for quite some time, while the rabbi remained a guest, as
Gamaliel, in the Pharisee’s house.
Several additional carpenters, whom Papa had befriended in Sepphoris and
Nain would assist him, as well as masons and furniture makers from nearby
towns. Not only did this put coins
into Papa’s money box, but it helped repair the friendships he had with
townsmen and made him even more popular with his friends. To improve his business and, though he
wouldn’t admit it, impress his clients, Papa remodeled his carpenter shop so
that a large portion of it could hold furniture and supplies. During the rare periods of bad weather
in Nazareth, we would be able to work inside the shop. A platform, with a woven awning, was
built outside so that we didn’t have to saw and sand boards in the hot sun or
suffer a downpour of rain. A
cobblestone path was also created, leading from the road directly to the shop,
a signpost by the entrance proclaiming to the world “Carpentry done by Joseph and
his sons,” though Jesus would inherit the shop if Papa died.
The rapid changes in our lives moved at a dizzying
pace. Along with constructing
Aaron’s house, a growing number of customers were requesting repairs and new
furniture. Except for the Shabbat,
there wasn’t a day when sawing, sanding, and hammering wasn’t heard in our
shop. The most important material
change in our lives, however, was our expanded and renovated house, that, when
Papa’s work crew had finished, would boast two additional rooms, an enclosed
kitchen, and a large hall upon entering an archway. For the first time since the burning of Mariah’s house—a day
also burned into my family’s memory, my parents actually entertained
guests. Some of the same people,
who had vowed never to set foot in our house, supped with us and shared Papa’s
wine. Gradually also, the
townsmen’s children were drawn back into our home, which, in the months
following the arrival of the Romans and new rabbi, included James and Joseph’s
old friends as well as Simon and my old gang.
******
Uriah, my brothers and sisters, and I were at
various levels in Gamaliel’s class.
Having learned the basics of Hebrew and memorized important passages
from the Torah, James, Joseph, and I were at the most advanced stage, while
many of our fair-weather friends, who would be attending Aaron’s synagogue
school, could barely read. Simon
still saw the Hebrews symbols backward and, despite Gamaliel’s method of
reading from the end of a sentence and holding a mirror up to reverse the text,
had learned very little. Uriah was
not too far behind James and Joseph, his only problem, Gamaliel discovered,
being his lack of interest.
Tabitha, who proved to be a fast learner, had surprised everyone, but my
twin sisters, Abigail and Martha, seemed too scatter-brained to learn very much.
Gamaliel had promised to teach me Greek and Latin
when I mastered Hebrew, and a period would be set aside for special tutoring
after school. This period, of
course, never came. While Gamaliel
continued to teach us awhile longer, Aaron became the official rabbi of our
town. Because our synagogue had
been greatly enlarged, the young rabbi’s class could accommodate a large number
of students. One day, as work
commenced on the synagogue, our teacher informed us that he would be leaving
Nazareth soon and that his cousin Aaron would finish our education. We could scarcely believe that we would
be losing our privileged status and would be joining the general population of
students in Aaron’s class.
James uttered a wounded cry. “It’s not fair! We haven’t learned enough. Why’re you leaving so soon?”
“I’ve been here over a year.” He sighed heavily.
“Your feet are set on the right path.
My cousin will lead you now; he knows as much as me. It’s good that you’ll be in a classroom
with more students. The townsmen
are grumbling about Joseph’s family getting special treatment. You can show off how smart you are to
those fellows. Your town needs a
full time rabbi; I never planned on filling such a niche.”
“You promised, you promised!” I said, my lower lip
quivering.
“Now Jude,” Gamaliel gave me a warning look.
“Something unforeseen has come up. Someday I’ll return. You’re in good hands with Aaron. He’s a fine teacher!”
“But we don’t want Aaron,” Tabitha wept openly, “we
want you!”
I looked around the table in disbelief. “Jethro,
Obadiah, and Boaz will be in Aaron’s class. They don’t like us.
They’ll beat us up.”
“At their own peril!” Jesus called from the back of
the room.
Jesus gave me a comforting smile. Gamaliel’s promise to teach me Greek
and Roman had been our secret, but I think Jesus knew. Stifling a sob, I turned away and
stared at my writing tablet. In
Hebraic, I had written liar, liar!, quickly rubbing it out with my thumb. James and Joseph sat there arguing with
the teacher as I sank further into gloom.
Simon, who was doing poorly in class, was not as upset as me, nor did I
expect to see tears in Abigail or Martha’s blue eyes, but Tabitha was sobbing
uncontrollably and Uriah, to my surprise, was on the verge of tears. All I could think was that I wouldn’t
learn Greek and Latin, which I needed for my travels in the world.
“Students, please believe me.” Gamaliel raised his
hands in appeal. “Aaron’s a fine teacher.
You heard him speak at Samuel’s feast. I know of no one more knowledgeable of the Torah.”
“He’s
a dwarf!” Joseph scowled. “You can barely see his face.”
“That has nothing to do with his
abilities.” Gamaliel shook his head with disappointment. “The greatest teacher
of them all, Hillel, was bald and blind in one eye. Judge a man by his deeds. Beauty’s but a fading flower.”
“I’m sorry,” Joseph groaned, “I meant no
disrespect. It’s not him. It’s his oversized class. We don’t want to be stuck with a bunch
of numbskulls. His class is going
to be huge!”
“He’s right,” James protested. “Aaron will have his
hands full. He won’t give us
special attention.”
“James, Joseph, Jude.” He walked, with hands
clasped, across the floor. “I’ve given you the direction. You know how to study the
scriptures. Aaron will find time
to help you with your Hebrew. Now
that you know the symbols and basic sentence formation, you’ll be far ahead of
the others. All I’ve done is guide
you, as Aaron will do. Practice,
memorize, and vocalize what you know.” “I shall return, when I’ve taken care of
my business.”
“What business?” I jeered. “Isn’t Nazareth big
enough for you?”
“Nazareth is a lovely town,” answered Gamaliel, “but
I do what I must I do.”
“What?” I looked at him challengingly. “Tell us
what?”
Gamaliel remained silent. We would learn later that Elijah, the rabbi’s brother, had
been arrested in Sepphoris and thrown into jail. The students would not find out what Elijah had done to get
into trouble, but it had evidently embarrassed our teacher very much. I would hear about the details of
Elijah’s crime when Paul of Tarsus related the story to me after Gamaliel’s
death.
Elijah had attacked an important citizen in a
drunken rage. Because of Elijah’s
status in the city, the magistrates accepted the fine offered by Gamaliel with
the stipulation that Elijah leave Sepphoris and not return. The week in which Gamaliel was forced
to return to Sepphoris and pay Elijah’ fine was followed by an additional
period of time required for he and his siblings to resettle their recalcitrant
brother in another town. Gamaliel
would, in fact, return briefly to Nazareth, but on the day he left our town,
leaving us to join the horde of students in Aaron’s class, the only members of
my family present at his send-off were my parents, sisters, and oldest
brother. Of the many things in my
life that I am ashamed of are the words I had said to him in class and the fact
that I talked Simon and Uriah out of being at the send-off. James and Joseph were also absent, as
was Tabitha who, because of conservative attitudes, would not be admitted to
synagogue school.
Though the class was, as James and Joseph feared,
far too large, much of our dread about Boaz, Jethro, and Obadiah was
unfounded. Jesus, who would sit in
class frequently, had warned Aaron about these students. He promised each of them that they
would suffer the consequences if they said so much as an unkind word to
us. Aaron reminded all of the
students at the first day of synagogue school that we were once again under the
rule of Rome. All congregations
outside of school or worship services would be immediately censored. Everyone knew what the Romans meant by
“censored.”
Our first day with Aaron as teacher was a
long-winded affair, and not a word had been said about learning Hebrew or, for
that matter, Latin or Greek.
Before I had even shown up that day, I had preconceived notions about
the little rabbi. In Samuel’s
house our small class had been given a diverse and liberal education, some of
which would have disturbed the elders of our town. The synagogue was open to daily, even hourly, scrutiny, by
any citizen dropping in off the street.
Because of those narrow-minded graybeards, Aaron would have to watch
what he said. There would be no
more philosophical speculation not covered in the Torah. Because it was felt that girls didn’t
need much education and there was barely enough room, Tabitha, my sisters, and
the other girls in town, would not be attending school. Right at the very beginning, I was also
predisposed against the atmosphere of the classroom, itself. Since we showed up late, Uriah and my
brothers and I were seated in the very last bench. So that the sixty-five children and youths could get better
acquainted, the young rabbi had everyone stand up and introduce
themselves. He wrote each name on
a special list, insisting that we give our full names, such as Judah bar Joseph
and Uriah bar Joachim—the same irksome custom practiced by Gamaliel, our
previous teacher. What’s worse, he
asked us, as we were standing, what we wanted to do with our lives. Because of the reaction I might
receive, I said nothing about my ambitions in seeing the world and, when my
turn arrived, replied lamely, “I shall work in my father’s shop.” Since Jesus was present the first hour,
there were no catcalls when Uriah and my names were called. Everyone was familiar with Judah the
Galilean, who caused Rome’s wrath to fall on our people, and the reputation of
Uriah’s father. It seemed like a pointless
exercise in class. Most children
assumed they would follow in their father’s footsteps. Yet how many of these students, I
wondered those moments, actually wanted to spend their entire lives in this
backwoods town? Nearly everyone
did as I did and said exactly what they thought their parents would want to
hear. Some, with thick tongues,
like the slow-moving Boaz, stuttered and stammered when they tried to explain
their goals, and several students simply drew a blank when asked to stand
up. The gaps in ages in the class,
which didn’t help, were great. The
youngest students were six years olds, younger than my sisters Abigail and
Martha, while the oldest, James and his friends, who felt out of place in this
crowd, were sixteen. Such a
disparity seemed to bode ill for the younger students, until Aaron divided us
into groups. The topmost group,
which moved up to the front of the class, would contain everyone from the age
of 12 to 16, which to my great relief included me. I’m not sure whether or not Aaron had taken into
consideration the fact that Gamaliel had already placed James, Joseph, and me
into one group.
After listening to the classroom chatter, I realized
that some of the youths thrown in with James, Joseph, and myself had little
comprehension of the Torah. Simon,
unfortunately, was among this group.
Aaron’s divisions made more sense for the younger students, whose age
range of six to eleven was where my sisters and Tabitha would have fit in, but
placing the dull-witted Boaz, Jethro, and Obadiah into our group simply because
they were in our age range overlooked the fact that they were practically
illiterate, while James, Joseph, and I already knew Hebrew and could recite
from the Torah. Though they were
older than Uriah and me, Boaz, Jethro, and Obadiah belonged in the six to
eleven group in ability, along with most of the other youths, including Simon,
who was also lumped into our group.
Unfortunately, Simon, who continued to see everything backward, required
special attention he wouldn’t receive in any group. After listening to James and Joseph’s
protests, however, Aaron explained, with a giggle, that we could help teach
these oafs. He would appoint
Jesus, as his assistant and even pay him, if he agreed, and might even place
James, Joseph and me into the same positions if we wished.
It was obvious that Gamaliel had bragged to his
nephew about James, Joseph and me.
This explained why he didn’t include Simon in his offer nor Uriah, who
had worked very hard the last week in which Gamaliel taught our class. I wondered fleetingly that moment if
Gamaliel had given me special praise because of my perfect memory. Perhaps our teacher was merely being
tactful by lumping James, Joseph, and me together, but I frankly didn’t
care. Despite his favorable
beginning at Samuel’s house, Aaron was on the wrong path. The future of our class seemed
bleak. His suggestion that we act
as his assistants was so absurd we broke into hysterical laughter as we
discussed it after school. Jesus
might have scolded us for not responding more politely to Aaron’s offer if he
had been on watch, but he had walked home to help Papa in the shop. This is where we would find refuge from
the expected jeers of our classmates.
Unfortunately, neither Jesus nor the Romans who were
supposed to protect us from our enemies, were around when we exited the
synagogue. Considering the threat,
it was a long walk to the carpenter’s shop. I had no faith in James or Joseph protecting us from Jethro,
Obadiah or Boaz, who had a score to settle after being disciplined by Falco and
Priam. They were also, I was
certain, still sniffing around for their share of the gold. Fortunately for us, a trio of
legionnaires galloped past as we dashed down the road. One of the riders, whom I recognized at
once barked, “Slow down lads.
What’s the hurry? Are you
being chased?”
“Not yet,” mumbled Simon.
“It’s Caleb and Horib’s boys,” blurted Uriah
“What? Those ruffians again?” Regulus looked down at
us.
“Hello Regulus.” I stopped to salute. “Where not afraid, as long as you’re on
patrol.”
“He would say something like that,” Joseph
grumbled to James.
“Oh, isn’t that cute,” I heard one of the other
optios remark, “a proper little soldier.
Is that the one who wants to join the army?”
“Yes, a fine little fellow.” Regulus grinned
wryly. “Remember what we said
about assemblies?” He added good-naturedly, spurring his horse.
A cloud of dust was kicked up as he galloped toward
our house. The other two optios
sat awhile on their mounts as Regulus reined in his horse, dismounted, and led
his stallion up to the hitching post.
In the distance, emerging from our front yard, were the shadowy
silhouettes of two of his men. As
the dust cleared, I recognized Priam and Falco at once. To James and Joseph’s great annoyance,
I saluted them too. Priam and
Falco returned my salute, but gave the others unfriendly looks.
Regulus, who had been the first to speak, talked
almost exclusively to me. “I heard
your synagogue’s open for business again.
I met that new rabbi. He
sure talks a lot. He’s the
smallest Jew I’ve ever seen but a vast improvement over that last
scoundrel.” “Whatever happened to
that fellow?” His eyes shifted to Uriah. “Heard he was sick—had some kind of
stroke.”
“That’s right sir, Uriah’s living with us,” I piped
eagerly.
I was very excited by this meeting. Uriah, who prickled under the optio’
scrutiny, shrugged, a scowl registering on his face. Elbowing him in the ribs, I said from the corner of my
mouth, “These people are here to protect us. Don’t be rude.
Answer the optio!”
“Owe,” whined Uriah, “that hurts.”
“How’s your fine parents?” Regulus winked at
me. “I heard your mother’s still nursing Joachim, your family’s onetime foe,
her aunt, and Samuel all at the same time. Vesta, be praised
—that
woman’s a saint!”
“Yes sir,” I replied enthusiastically, “ and Papa’s
business is doing much better. His
shop’s been expanded and builders are working on our house.”
Glancing around at our small group, he frowned at
James and Joseph and gave Uriah a curt nod. I remembered Longinus words after Papa’s confrontation with
Joachim: “the fruit does not fall far from the tree. Jesus would remember these words too. Priam and Falco would accompany the
optio as he checked up on the hill and perimeter guards. I was glad of the added protection in
Nazareth. I wondered then, after
Longinus announcement, how many more men Regulus had to supervise. As if they had not been paying
attention to the optio, Priam and Falco gave almost the same amenities as
Regulus had done moments before.
“Jude,” Priam said gruffly, “how’s your little
mother doing?”
“Healthy and fit sir,” I chimed promptly.
“And your Papa?” Falco grinned slyly.
“My father’s doing quite well.” I nodded pertly.
“He’s always been polite.” Falco waved dismissively,
“but we know how he really feels.
Like all Jews, he hates us.
But that mother of yours has a pure heart. I could see it in her eyes.”
“Aye.” Priam nodded reflectively. “A soul could
drown in those eyes.”
“So your parents are taking care of the rabbi’s
son,” Falco eyed Uriah. “How’s the poor man feeling?”
Uriah, feeling my elbow again, replied, “Don’t
really know sir. He just stares
into space.”
Priam and Falco found this amusing, and chuckled to
themselves. Simon giggled with
discomfort, as Regulus gave his head a pat. I placed my arm on Uriah’s shoulder to comfort him. This time, to my relief, James and
Joseph remained respectful but silent, as the three Romans looked, with great
scrutiny, down at our group.
“Are you learning anything useful in the synagogue?”
Regulus frowned thoughtfully. “I hope this rabbi is better than the last.”
No one responded to his question. Once again, I stepped forward as my
family’s goodwill ambassador and piped, “We just started school. Aaron plans to make James, Joseph, and
me his helpers since we have learned to speak Hebrew and can read from the
Torah.”
“Ah, a leader is born!” Regulus cried with delight,
as if my brothers didn’t exist. “Let’s hope you become a priest, not a
revolutionary like your namesake Judah, the Galilean.”
Why, even in jest, would Regulus say such
thing? It wasn’t funny, and yet I
laughed hysterically to myself. I
should have added to my answer, “Being Aaron’s assistants will make us outcasts
among our people.” James, Joseph,
and Simon were glaring at me. I
wasn’t sure whether it was because of my answer to Regulus or what the optio
said. My name was a curse upon
me! I had sounded
enthusiastic about Aaron’s offer.
Though I would never admit it, secretly I wanted to show off my
intelligence to my classmates.
Plunged into my thoughts a moment, I awakened to
friendly banter. The attention had
turned to Joachim’s son.
“And why didn’t the teacher make you an assistant?”
Priam was teasing him. “You think being a rabbi’s son, you’d outshine the
carpenter’s sons.”
“I just want to be carpenter,” complained Uriah.
“Why do I have to learn all that stuff?”
“You should be thankful that you can learn
that stuff.” Simon socked his arm.
“There now,” Falco snickered, offering Simon the
handle of his sword, “give him a proper whack!”
“That’ll be enough,” the optio scolded his men
wryly, “we don’t want folks to think they’re consorting with Romans.” “You boys
give that new rabbi a chance,” he counseled us. “As my Jewish mother once said
to me, ‘learned man is less dangerous than a fool.’”
Regulus, Priam, and Falco laughed at something the
optio added under his breath then, giving us curt nods, bid us good day. In spite of the wisdom in Regulus’
words, there was, I sensed, an underlying bitterness, perhaps even contempt for
us conveyed by he and his men. As
they continued on their way, the other two optios sat there on their mounts a
moment staring coldly at us before jerking their reigns and galloping down the
road.
“Peace be on the house of Jude,” one them called out
derisively as they galloped off. “May your Jewish god help us guard this
outpost. Spread the word to your
friends that Rome is watching them this hour.”
“I will,” I cried out impulsively. “Peace be upon
our Roman protectors. May they
always guard our home!”
I immediately regretted my foolish words. That man was being sarcastic. Not a word had I said about the Romans
guarding the remainder of our town.
Too many times in the past did it seem as if our corner of Nazareth was
an island in a strange, unfriendly land.
I hoped Jethro, Obadiah and Boaz, who were probably slinking on our
trail, had at least heard what Regulus said. When the Romans were out of earshot, James, Joseph, and
Simon ganged up on me, with words of rebuke, until Jesus appeared in front of
the shop.
“You
sound like you actually want to be Aaron’s little helper,” Simon sneered. “All
of the students will hate you and us too!” He punched my arm.
“That’s
not the issue,” Joseph took his turn. “Who care’s about our numbskull
classmates? Jude’s a traitor to
our people. Did you hear what he
shouted out for all to hear?”
“Yes, Jude,” James’ voice trembled. “Are you that
much of Roman lover that you’d turn the town against us again?”
“No,
of course not,” I responded angrily to both accusations. “That’s
ridiculous!” “You really think I
want to be waylaid by students after school?” I looked at Simon. “I’m sorry I got a little excited about
our guards,” I then turned to Joseph and James. “I was just being polite. You certainly weren’t. You can’t act like that anymore, either
of you. The Romans are here to
stay. They’re protecting us
against thieves and murderers. Why
am I traitor for seeing that?”
“Because,”
spat Joseph, “you’ve always loved Romans since they came to our town. All that talk about being a Roman soldier
and seeing the world. Bah, I think
you want to be a Roman—period!
You’ve forgotten what the Gentiles have done to our people. I bet when you leave our home, you’ll
forget being Jewish and eat forbidden food!”
“Joseph! What’s going on here?” Jesus called
from the path leading to the shop.
“He’s an embarrassment to our family,” James pointed
accusingly at me. “He fraternized with the Romans in front of the town. Did you hear what he said?”
“I don’t see anyone on the road,” Jesus replied
irritably. “I thought you were changing James—opening that trapdoor mind.” “And
you Joseph.” Jesus gave him a gentle cuff. “You’ll never change!”
It was the clearest prophecy. Joseph would never change. James, of course, though he remained
stubbornly conservative, became a disciple as myself. Those moments, however, I would never have imagined that my
second oldest brother would one day write one of the sacred books collected by
Luke. Jesus questioned all of us
for several minutes as we walked down the path. Papa was still away on business with Ezra, but Mama had been
drawn to the commotion, Tabitha, Abigail, and Martha peeking fearfully around
her skirts. My mind wandered again
to a vision I had not thought of for quite some time... my white horse,
galloping down an endless road, but this time I wasn’t so sure it would be as a
soldier. There seemed to be
something fundamentally flawed about that vision. Perhaps I just wanted to escape from what seemed to be a
dead end town and boring fate.
When Jesus shook me gently and looked down squarely into my eyes, I was
crying softly. Uriah was patting
my shoulder to comfort me, and Simon was on the verge of tears.
“All I said was ‘I hope the Romans always protect
our house.” I squirmed under Jesus scrutiny.
“There-there,” he whispered close to my ear, “the
Lord protects our house, not the Romans, but I know what’s in your heart.”
“My heart is black as sin,” I murmured, looking
away.
“Aaron’s going to make James, Joseph, Jude, and you
his helpers.” Simon stated bluntly. “I can’t stand that big class. Why do we have to go Jesus? I can’t read. I’ll never be able to read. When I look at the words they get all jumbled up in my
head. ”
“Don’t worry, my brothers,” Jesus placed his arms
around Simon and me. “The Romans will be here for a long time.... Simon will
one day be able to read.”
“What about you Uriah?” he asked, bringing Uriah
into our circle. “Are you happy in Aaron’s class.”
“I hate it!” Uriah sniffled. “I want to be like you
Jesus. I just want to work in wood.”
Now Uriah was crying. James seemed conflicted with emotions—anger and shame, but
Joseph looked on with disgust.
Jesus, the Good Shepherd, calmed Simon, Uriah, and
me with these haunting words, “Uriah, I don’t believe you’re capable of hating
anything. Your heart is pure. Trust in the Lord. Some day, you’ll make your mark on the
world as Jude, though his road shall take him far from home. Simon, remember what I said. You have a great future too, but, in
His inscrutable way, the Lord’s testing you. Be patient all of you.
Aaron has come to Nazareth for a purpose. I know that now.”
“James and Joseph,” he added almost as an afterthought, “your fears are
unjustified. Look around you and
tell me who’s prowling about: Boaz, Jethro and Obadiah—a few rude and
ill-mannered children. With the
Romans on watch, the road is clear; let them do their jobs. They’re just following orders, just as
you do when Papa gives you a chore.
James—open your heart. I
see your future intertwined with mine.
Joseph, your brother, will remain steadfast to the Torah, but you must
remember the living word.”
“The living word?” Joseph made a face. “What in
creation is the living word?”
“Uh oh, Jesus is talking strange again,” Simon
teased in a singsong voice.
“What did you mean our paths are intertwined?” James
scratched his head. “Does that mean I’m going to work as carpenter for you all
my life?”
“What about me?” Uriah looked eagerly up at Jesus.
“I wanna work with you Jesus all my life.”
“And so you shall,” Jesus ruffled his locks. “We’ve
already talked about the living word.” He turned to Joseph. “It’s simply the
revelations God has been giving the prophets and other righteous men. Is that so hard to understand?”
“Well...no.” Joseph’s frown faded.
“How can I have a great future if I can’t even
read?” Simon asked, tugging on Jesus sleeve.
“Trust me.” Jesus winked.
Simon, who understood Jesus immediately, beamed. “Oh
yes, the living word!”
I knew I was next in line for answers, but Jesus
moved on then to a greater issue.
“Remember this one thing,” He raised a finger and
looked up to heaven, “the Lord, not Rome, protects us from evil. The greater evil is your deeds, not the
imagined threats you see in the shadows.
The Romans have guarded us against men like Bar Abbas, not against the
Evil One, whom you should fear the most.”
In one short session, Jesus had foretold our
futures, though, as Paul of Tarsus would have said, it was through glass
darkly. I know now what Jesus’
words meant. James and I would
join Jesus apostles. Uriah and
Simon would also become followers one day, and Joseph, in his own way would
serve the Lord too. The details of
our futures remained undecided.
What was obvious to me that day was that Jesus knew exactly what I had
been up to. I was certain that his
last words were a personal stab at me for my subterfuge and deceit. Leading us back down the path to our
assigned chores, he remained silent a moment, until he felt my hand in his. At that point, he slowed our pace. The others sauntered ahead of us,
glancing back with suspicion, as he looked into my heart.
“Are you mad at me Jesus?” I wept again.
“Jude,” he whispered so faintly I could barely hear,
“the Lord is testing you the most—more than Simon, more than Papa. Gold is a terrible craving. Yet your treasure is safe. Mama told me something this morning
before leaving for Joachim’s house.
To prevent Jethro and Obadiah from stealing it, she placed it in a secure
place.”
My mouth fell open in amazement. “Then Michael
didn’t steal it!”
“No, he didn’t.” Jesus continued to stare with
disappointment at me. “.... Michael believed that no one in this town would
ever accept him because of his reputation. The feeling of being trapped in Samuel’s house, the hatred
shown by your brothers, and his own guilt were too much for him. That same night he met John, he
probably made his get-a-away. He
had accumulated a store of bread and water and hidden it in the hills for that
day. This time, however, because
his relatives wouldn’t accept him, there was no place for him to go, so he came
back, as dirty and misbegotten as he was the last time he returned.”
“He’s back?” My eyes widened in disbelief. “He’s in
the house right now?”
“Yes.” Jesus heaved a sigh. “Even Michael didn’t
know about your gold. Mama grew suspicious
one day. Perhaps the Lord moved
her to search the wall and relocate your gold, but its secure now. Jethro, Obadiah, and Boaz were seen
lurking on the road awhile back, looking over at our house. Mama thought she heard voices in the
backyard when we were at school, so she moved it to a new location.”
“Where? Where?” I clapped my hands with glee.
Jesus groaned in disbelief. “That’s blood money
Jude. Abbas, his son, and their
gang robbed and killed travelers for that gold. Jesus Bar Abbas hasn’t forgotten about the treasures in the
pagan shrine either. Your greed
has addled your wits. Can’t you
see the dangers in this?”
“Yes,... I’m sorry Jesus,” I whimpered pitifully,
“so where’d she put it?”
Even now, the thought of my pot of gold being safe gave
me a heady feeling. Jesus shook me
very hard now. I could see tears
in his blue eyes. It was, as I
look back in time, a low point in my battle with the Evil One.
“You must apologize to the Lord, not me,” he said,
wiping his eyes, “but not now,” he scolded, as I closed my eyes and began
praying.
“Yes, I shall pray and make an offering in the
temple,” I mumbled deliriously.
“This is very serious Jude,” he explained, motioning
for me to follow him from the path to the garden. “You don’t need to go to the
temple to make amends to God.
First you must change your thinking. Word’s are hollow without a contrite heart.”
“Yes-yes, I’m a bad person,” I confessed in a rush
of emotion. “I should’ve told you, but I kept thinking about what I could do with
all that gold. If only I hadn’t
met Adam. All that gold he’s
hidden—waiting there in the shrine and in the wall.”
“Come inside,” Jesus pulled me along. “This isn’t
for Uriah or our brothers’ ears.”
“Where’s Michael?” I murmured to Jesus. “I can’t believe
he didn’t steal my gold.”
“It’s not your gold,” Jesus said, thonking my head.
“It was never your gold!”
I looked into the shadows of the room. Mama was standing by the window, her
light brown hair glimmering in the rays of the afternoon sun. I could hear the twins romping in the
backyard, but Michael was nowhere in sight.
As if he had read my mind, Jesus told me that
Michael was in the orchard, meditating upon his sins. As soon as possible, he explained to me, Michael must go
into hiding again. If the Romans
saw him they might not recognize this rascal but the townsmen had long
memories. It was actually safer
for him to be in the backyard than the front. A rare note of sarcasm in Jesus’ voice emphasized how
disgusted he was in the latest turn of events. Mama uttered a bitter laugh, as the three of us sat at the
table.
“I don’t know who’s worse now,” she said wearily,
“Michael or you.” “Please explain to me Jude why you continued to horde that
gold. You know very well where it
came from—the very people the Romans are protecting us from, thieves and
murderers.” “Answer me,” her voice rose shrilly. “Where did those coins come
from? Who gave you that gold?”
“Adam
has hidden Abbas’ gold in the shrine,” I confessed. “I’m certain he put the gold coins in the wall too.”
“We
thought the bandits came back for their gold.” She clutched her forehead in
despair. “Why didn’t you tell us about this horde? What if they come back looking for those coins?”
“Jesus
said you hid it.” I gave her a confused look. “If what you said is true,
shouldn’t you put it back?”
“Oh,
you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she snarled uncharacteristically. “I hid your
loot to keep Jethro, Obadiah, and Boaz from finding it. Now there’s gold in a pagan shrine?”
“Mama,”
Jesus said, patting her knuckles, “now that the guards are back, I don’t think
those boys would dare come into our backyard.”
Her
eyes widened in disbelief. “Are you suggesting I put it back? What if those bandits come back looking
for it?”
“When
I say that the Lord is watching over our house, no one, even you Mama, are
totally convinced that this is true.
So, let’s consider the possibility that, as instruments of the Lord, our
Roman protectors will keep both the bandits and Jethro, Obadiah, and Boaz away
from Jude’s gold.”
“But
it’s not Jude’s gold.” Mama’s nostrils flared. “That wicked Adam has brought a
curse upon our family”
“It’ll
be all right,” Jesus consoled her. “With the Romans here, you don’t have to
decide at once. The larger issue
is Jude’s lust for gold. I’ve been
sitting here thinking about this.... I think, in his immaturity, he dreams of
great things, but is torn by his greed.
Jude, in spite of his coming of age, is very much a child. To put the gold back right now might be
a great temptation to him, but now that we’re on to his tricks he’ll most
likely leave it alone. On the
other hand, if you don’t put the gold back, you will have removed temptation
entirely. The question as to what
we should do with this stolen loot we can decide another time.”
“So,”
I blurted foolishly to Mama, “where’d you hide it?”
“Hah!
Wouldn’t you like to know,” she laughed softly. “I think we’ll leave it just
where it’s at.” A mischievous gleam appeared in her eyes. “What do you think
Jesus? Do you think I found a good
hiding place?”
“Yes.”
Jesus sighed heavily. “No one will find it there.”
A
possible location flashed like a beacon through my mind:
cloaca-cloaca-cloaca. Mama was a
simple soul. What better place to
hide it, along with Papa’s coins.
That’s the first place I would look. If that proved false, I would look for freshly dug mounds of
dirt in the front and backyards.
“You’re
not going to tell the others, are you?” I asked light-headedly. “Uriah’s a
blabbermouth, and Simon might just go dig it up.”
“Under
no circumstance are we to let this slip to the other boys,” Mama directed
sternly. “Papa knows, Jesus knows, and I know. No one else.”
I felt strangely relieved. Much of the temptation, as Jesus predicted, was lifted from
my mind. My treasure was
safe! Jesus was torn by what
appeared to be a lie by omission.
When he tried to explain his feelings about this, however, his mother
replied, “Thou shalt honor thy parents is a commandment too.” Pacing the floor, his hands clasped
behind him, Jesus muttered to himself, shook his head, and then gave Mama a
searching look.
“What on earth are we going to do with all that
gold?” I heard him mumble to himself.
“It’s just a little pot of coins,” I said
petulantly. “Why all the fuss?”
“Have you tried to lift that, Jude?” Mama frowned at
me in disbelief.
“No,... it was just there,” I answered, shaken by
the implications of her words.
“Well, it took two trips for me to relocate the
gold. That’s a tidy some, Jude.”
She gave me a studied look. “About the gold in the sanctuary—where
you going to retrieve that later too?”
“No, certainly not,” I presented an indignant
expression.
“Let’s hope so.” She exhaled deeply. “That’s no
place for a god-fearing Jew.”
Another stab of guilt struck me that moment. Though she must have been especially
upset with me for consorting with Adam to hide treasure in that pagan holy of
holies, she said nothing, which was exactly what I did when James, Joseph,
Simon, and Uriah entered the house.
For
once I didn’t fear Jesus inability to lie or Mama’s loose tongue. Our only sin was keeping this dark
secret.... The question was ‘for how long?’
“When’s lunch?” Simon piped. “I’m as hungry as a
horse!”
“Oh no,” She groaned, clasping her forehead, “I
forgot to fix the noon meal!”
“I’ll help you whip something up.” Jesus, always the
dutiful son, sprang to his feet.
Naturally, to show my contriteness, I followed
Jesus’ movements. I expected some
form of punishment, but this matter appeared to be closed. A strange, unsettling euphoria overtook
me. Perhaps, I reasoned dazedly,
this was best. I might not know
where my gold was, but at least I knew it was still there, hidden somewhere in
the house, cloaca, shop, or one of the yards. At some point in the future, I might be cured of my greed
and shake the feeling of remorse I carried. On the other hand, before I ventured off into the world, I
might discover where Mama hid my gold and use it to finance my trip. Looking around the room at Uriah and my
brothers, as I carried the small loafs of bread Mama had baked to the table, I
felt a sense of unity with my parents and oldest brother for the big, dark
secret we shared. The twins
frolicked into the room, led by Tabitha, who was carrying a basket of freshly
picked fruit. While the girls arranged the figs, plums, and berries in the
center of the table, James, Joseph, and Simon gave me suspicious looks. Even Uriah, always trusting, asked if I
was in trouble again.
“No,” I answered, after some deliberation, “we
chatted about the new rabbi.”
“I don’t like him.” Uriah made a face. “He reminds
me of my father.”
“He’s a dwarf!” Joseph snarled.
I didn’t agree with Uriah, but I nodded my
head. I had to say something. Uriah was the last person on earth who
should know about by treasure. It
seemed I was a liar as well as a thief, but I felt some comfort in having at
least one friend in our house.
Because of my fraternization with the Romans, James and Joseph were on
the outs with me again. I’m sure
Simon didn’t care one way or another; yet, if he, James, or Joseph got wind of
my treasure they would snatch it up themselves. I remembered awhile back, when Mama told us about the gifts
of the Magi. The greed that
registered in James and Joseph’s eyes was every bit as strong as my own. This is why my conscience didn’t bother
me that much. Jesus and Mama
believed that temptation had been removed from me, but it didn’t remove my
longing for gold.
With Papa away on business, I had once less
critic. Since he must have known
about my subterfuge before he departed and shown no anger whatsoever toward me
when he left, I felt as if I had nothing to fear. The matter had been left entirely in Mama and Jesus’
hands. Mama had not exploded in
righteous anger as she often did with Joseph and James. For that matter, Jesus appeared to have
put the subject behind him before the afternoon prayer. Not a word was mentioned about my
misdeeds. To my great surprise,
also, neither Mama nor Jesus said a word about Michael. I had been so absorbed with my own
dilemma I had almost forgotten about my old friend. Most of us were relieved that he was gone. Before Jesus stood up to utter the
Shema, however, we heard a knock at the back door.
“Oh yes everybody,” Mama said nonchalantly,
“Michael’s back.”
“What?” Joseph’s mouth dropped. “Are you serious?”
“He arrived this morning while we were at school.”
Jesus explained, walking calmly to the door. “Be polite my brothers. He was lost, perhaps he’s still lost,
but he’s returned. Please welcome
back our adopted brother.”
“Good grief,” James uttered a wounded cry, “I
thought we were done with him!”
“Remember,” Simon said mockingly, “he’s our
brother.”
“He’s not my brother.” Joseph shuddered. “Nehemiah
was, Uriah might be, but Michael will never-never be my adopted brother!”
Uriah and I smiled bravely at each other as Michael
re-entered our lives. Michael
mumbled a brief apology for his conduct and promptly sat at the end of the
table—a place where Papa sat when he was here. The mood was so hostile toward him Jesus immediately began
his prayer, perhaps with a thought to quieten the mood.
I will not document Jesus prayer this time. There were so many prayers given by my
older brother, most of which I recorded in my chronicle. After a long rambling petition that,
summed up, asked God to forgive his brother’s intemperance, watch over our
family’s interest now that Michael was back, and bring Papa safely home from
his trip, Jesus gave a blessing for our food. I will never know whether or not the intemperance he spoke
of was meant in a general sense for James and Joseph’s attitude or for my
current frame of mind, but it was clear how worried he was about Michael’s
return to our house. Though
cloaked in lofty words, it was plain to all of us that he admitted to the Lord,
Himself, that Michael was a threat.
Any reasonable person would have called our acceptance of Michael
madness. When Jesus finished his
prayer, a question and answer session followed as we began our lunch.
“Why did you run away?” I asked, looking down the
table at him.
“To find my mother.” He answered through a mouthful
of cheese.
“Well,” Simon snarled, “did you find her?”
“No,” he answered with a shrug, “no luck at
all. She wasn’t with her
aunt. They threw her out last
summer, so I searched Jerusalem and the beggar haunts.”
“That’s dreadful!” murmured Mama.
“All right,” Joseph’s voice trembled, “so why did
you come back?”
“No where to go.” Michael shrugged again.
“Michael,” James took his turn, “how many times do you
think you can upset our family and come sauntering back like this? You’re an embarrassment to us. We don’t trust you. Who knows what you’ll do next!”
“There’s nothing out there for me anymore,” Michael
confessed, after taking a long swig of juice. “I don’t want to find my mother
now. She’s either dead or among
Jerusalem’s untouchables.”
Michael’s words made me pity him that moment. What he spoke was said calmly, without
emotion, and yet it explained much about why he acted the way he did. His mother had damaged him, perhaps in
ways we couldn’t imagine. That
Michael would ever change seemed impossible that day, and yet he promised us,
as we continued to question his behavior, that this was it—his last flight. “I
will do better,” he mumbled, staring moodily at his plate. “I have but one
mother now—my mother of the spirit.
Mariah, my birth mother, by her actions, abandoned me long ago.” “I
promise to stay in hiding,” he added self-consciously, looking around the room.
“Someday maybe the town will forgive me for my actions—whenever that might
be. Until then I’ll lay low in
Samuel’s house or live like a hermit in the woods.”
Hearing his words and looking into his haunted eyes,
I fought back tears—partly for resentment that he was such a thorn in our sides. Tenderhearted Uriah wept openly,
though, perhaps thinking of his own birth mother and wondering if his father
would ever recognize him again.
All of the recipients of my parent’s charity—Maria, Michael, Nehemiah,
Reuben, Uriah, and Tabitha, not to mention the remaining sons and
daughters—flooded into my mind abruptly, causing my head to reel with the
wonder of it all.
My parents and oldest brother were, if nothing else, saints. Jesus had to share his parents with a constant stream of orphans and castaways. Instead of a quiet life as a carpenter with his wife and son, Papa adopted four more sons and two girls. Then, as if this wasn’t enough, opened his house to a disreputable woman and her son, making enemies of most of the town. When our chief enemy was found wounded in the hills, Mama, to Papa’s dismay, nursed him back to health, as she would do for Mariah’s incorrigible son when he returned. Now, after trying to keep Deborah’s son alive and failing, Mama has taken in permanently Joachim’s cast off boy, and, not so long afterwards, Tabitha, who, like Uriah, has remained with us ever since. Not counting Adam’s temporary shelter, Mama has taken personal care of two of our enemies, nursing them back to health. Taking care of Reuben, the most foolhardy of my parents good deeds, would have made us criminals in the eyes of Rome.... Now, once again, Michael was back.
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