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Adam had mixed emotions about the Sunday morning
service at Our Lord and Savior Independent Christian Church. On the one hand, he had survived a
congregational mutiny, though he was criticized for the unconventional tone of
his sermons. On the other hand, he
had probably lost several senior members who had been posing a threat to his
ministry for a very long time. In
this case both pro and con factors held both positive and negative
potential for his career. This
seemed true throughout his checkered life. He would simply adapt to the circumstances, as he had
always done. This time he would
introduce change into the old church slowly. He would avoid controversy and concentrate upon integrating
the congregation once more into a dynamic body of believers.
Throughout the day he cloistered himself in his
study to avoid running into his wife.
Once and awhile he would interrupt his research to check on Cora but
only furtively so as not bring on her ire. She had not forgiven him for her cold shower and for the
imagined misery he had caused her all these years.
He saw her watching television earlier this evening
and then peeked into the master bedroom moments ago to find her asleep in her
robe—he hoped throughout the night.
After a long reflective afternoon, he had scrounged himself up a meal
from the canned goods in the kitchen and spent the evening watching television,
while dozing in his chair. While
he leisurely showered, shaved, brushed his teeth, and then pulled on his
pajamas, he looked forward to a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s
ordeal. The Lord, he chose to
believe, was back in his life.
With his congregation intact and plans made to commit his wife to the
Alcoholism Treatment Center at the county hospital, all was well. He and Cora were being given a second
chance.
This time there was no gradual slide into
slumber. He did not toss and turn
until he fell asleep. When his head
hit the pillow he fell almost instantly into deep slumber, with a clear
conscience tonight and only fleeting abstractions for dreams.
******
The next thing he remembered, after ten hours of
uninterrupted sleep, was looking over and trying to read the clock. He had experienced, for the first time
in several months, a full night’s sleep.
Through blurry eyes, he could make out an eight on the digital clock and
what looked like a ten. Ten
minutes had already elapsed since he had awakened. Reaching over groggily, he shook his wife, until he thought
she was awake. Then, mustering all
his strength, he rose from bed, bent down shakily, and drug her to her feet.
With her arm draped limply around his neck and feet
barely synchronized with her brain, she was lugged her down the hall, sat on
the commode, and brought rudely around.
“Cora.
. .Cora. . . Wake up, Cora!” he demanded looking into her face.
“No-o-o,
lemme shleep,” she yawned expansively, “I need shleep.”
“No, no more sleep, Cora,” he shook his head.
“It's time to get dressed, eat breakfast and go to the hospital.”
“No-o-o,”
she groaned miserably, “I'm not going to the hoshpital!”
“Yes,
you are!” He wrung his finger.
“Don't argue with me; it won't do any good! You were sick last night. I thought you were going to croak. It's true, Cora, you
need to be hospitalized! We
agreed to that. If you don't go,
you'll die. . . Is that what you want, Cora, to die horribly bleeding from both
ends?”
“Uh-uh,”
she answered hesitantly, chewing her lower lip.
It
was a gross exaggeration, but Adam wanted her to dry out. That would take hospitalization and a
painful period of withdrawal. As
he looked down at his wife, she appeared weak and vulnerable. She began whimpering softly to herself,
and yet there were no tears in her eyes.
Although he had the upper hand with Cora, he felt insecure. At such times in the past his wife had
been unpredictable. Sudden
outbursts might follow periods of quiet depression. Nasty insults would follow the kind of sniveling he saw now.
Through
it all, as he got her ready, fed her, and made sure she had used the toilet, an
afterglow of the prophetic dream he had Thursday mingled with memories of the
past few days. He was half
convinced that the Holy Ghost was present in his house and had also been there
during Sunday’s service. How else
could you explain that incredible breeze that blew through his study, kicking
up in one magnificent display against those troublesome elders of the
church. His other half, however,
found a dark interpretation in the phenomena and the dream. One thing was certain, he realized with
mixed emotions now: there had been a definite presence in his home. A pervasive cold breeze had run amuck
also through the church, and yet in the prophetic dream he had Saturday night
it had grown suddenly warm. In a
nightmarish finalé to an otherwise inspiring dream, he had been standing in
front of a multitude delivering the greatest sermon of his career. The crowd was cheering, which, now that
he thought about it, seemed strange for a sermon. Inexplicably, he recalled with a shudder, shadows had fallen
over the scene, fading to black as on a stage. The warm breeze had carried the smell of brimstone, the
traditional odor of hell.
What had that onslaught of darkness meant? He wondered, as he spruced up his wife. Had he really smelled brimstone upon
awakening from that dream? Why,
that same moment, had the breeze blown warm instead of cold? Was the odor of brimstone, as well as the
breeze, mere figments of his imagination. . . Or was the Lord reaching out to
him finally after all these years?
The breeze and intangible ambience were missing this
morning, but in his haste they might simply have been overlooked. Could there be, after all his lofty
meditation, a mere random current blowing through the house? If so, how could one explain the sudden
gale at the church? Had elder Todd
Billingsley been correct when he blamed the air conditioner’s compressor for
the inexplicable breeze? There
were just too many coincidences to attribute these occurrences to chance.
******
Once again in the presence of his wife, he was
filled with doubts. While loading
her into the car, he listened with irritation to her mutterings and longed for
his ambience now. Even if it was a
figment of his imagination or an abnormality of his mind, it comforted him and
gave him hope. Already, as he
backed out of the driveway, Cora was gradually, through eye contact and facial
expressions, becoming her old, nasty self.
Throughout her alcoholic career, she had been
consistently nasty at such times.
That same devilish snarl, he saw now, would appear on her face, those
same blue eyes would fill with fire, and her mouth would spew forth all manner
of obscenities and insults. This
time the demon waited inside her for just the right cue.
She
was his darker half--all that had gone wrong in his life. After years of alcoholism, she had sunk
progressively lower in his esteem, becoming worse with each passing year. And yet she had, he remembered with
melancholy, once been a lover and paragon of devotion and wifely inspiration,
until, at one point, during his ministry, a change began, and a shadow fell
over her soul. For some reason, he
was not sure why, she chose evil over righteousness and darkness over
light. She became, after so much
practice, opposite to him in every way--his antithesis: drinking, smoking, and
mocking him with every breath.
For
a moment, as he turned onto the freeway, he caught Cora’s aroma: Lilacs of the
Field. Thanks to his resolve, his
favorite perfume had replaced the odor of sweat. He had even tried unsuccessfully to brush Cora’s teeth. In green slacks, a white blouse, and
red sweater and with her hair combed for once, after months in a bird’s nest
mess, she looked almost normal slouched in the back seat and staring blankly
into space.
Though her body was weak from lack of proper
nourishment and fatigue and each moment she seemed to labor for air, there was
animation in this winch and mischief twinkling in her eyes. Somewhere in that crumbling shell evil
had taken root; he was sure of this now.
It was there this hour, waiting to speak, waiting to act and smoldering
in her gaze as two irregular points of light.
******
As he glanced at his wife, his doubts about this
enterprise soared. Was he doing
the right thing? He had been
concerned about her well-being, but this activity could prove hazardous to his
own health. Her silence was
disturbing, and the expression on her face was difficult to read. For the first fifteen minutes of their
trip, she just sat there staring into space, as if resigned to her fate. During the remainder of their journey,
however, he noted Cora’s gradual collapse into slumber. Soon, the quiet was broken by the sound
of her snoring--a snorting noise that normally grated at his nerves. This morning, however, he welcomed this
sound as a signal that she would be docile for awhile.
For
several moments, he thought he detected a faint breeze in the car. Unfortunately, it blew erratically as
any other draft would and their was no purpose in its thrust. Nevertheless a voice seemed to say in
his head “Adam this is a bad idea.
Go home!”
As
they reached their destination, Cora began stirring, as if sensing what was
afoot. The sound of her snoring
had grown to an annoying pig-like snort.
When the county hospital was directly ahead, she looked up in time to
see its sign. At first, it didn't
register on her face; she just sat there with her eyes at half-mast until the
information sank in. Despite her
earlier compliance, her mouth dropped in amazement. As if suffering amnesia, she looked at him in disbelief as
this information exploded in her mind.
It seemed she had forgotten their agreement about going to the hospital.
When she saw the hospital sign, a
signal had been sent to her brain.
Perhaps she realized on this primal level what he had in mind: hospital = commitment and commitment =
drying out.
At this inappropriate time, Adam felt a gust of air stirring
his gray flecked hair. He had
begun doubting the significance of his special ambience even after that
experience at church. Now, as
Satan wound invisibly around the automobile, it seemed irrelevant--just another
capricious breeze. He had even begun
to doubt God.
Cora
had begun shaking her head and stomping her foot then, chanting “I won't
go. You can't make me,” a look of
horror frozen on her face.
“You’ve
been a fool long enough for this woman,” the devil whispered into his ear.
Adam
felt Satan’s titillation but dismissed it as he had the draft in his car. What he could not dismiss so easily
from his life was ‘the devil’s daughter’ sitting behind him now. It didn’t matter to him that she was
barely conscious when she agreed to go to the hospital. Cora, he vowed silently to
himself, is going to be committed this morning. Once and for all she’s going to be
cured!
As he listened to her rant and rave, he looked
sternly in his rearview mirror and tried once more to reason with his
wife. “Stop this nonsense at
once!” He wrung his finger at the mirror.
“You’re suffering alcoholic dementia. If you don’t get help soon, you’re going to develop
cirrhosis of the liver or cardiomyopathy of the heart. With a diseased liver or enlarged
heart, your blood can’t circulate properly, causing damage to your lungs,
kidneys, and brain!”
Adam had done considerable research on the effects
of alcohol. For a brief moment,
his dire and inflated warnings seemed to stop Cora cold. As he turned into the parking lot, she
stopped ranting, raving, and stomping her feet. As he searched for a parking space, however, and just when
he thought he had made his point, she grabbed at the steering wheel, almost
forcing him off the road. When
this attempt failed, she shouted obscenities into his ear. As if she was possessed, her eyes
bulged out of their sockets, rolling around crazily in her head. Her face contorted in demonic rage, spittle
gathering, as would a mad dog’s, at the corners of her mouth. Suddenly, with unbridled fury, her
fists began hammering his head.
With his right arm held up as a shield, he circled the parking lot until
he found a space to park. By then
Cora had bloodied his nose and unmercifully pounded the side of his face.
The
thought of hitting a woman, even his wife, was difficult to accept. But he was in trouble now. There was only one course of action to
take; he must defend himself or be beaten up by his wife. His only other option was to get out of
the car and out of harm's way.
Unfortunately, she made retreat difficult for him by her unceasing
attack.
“Hit
this wench!” Satan’s unheard voice rang. “Knock her out! Dump her like trash on the side of the
road! Abort this foolish plan!”
Cora,
Adam believed, had forfeited her status as a wife—perhaps as a human
being. He must disable her and, if
necessary, knock her out. It
almost seemed to the Tempter that it had finally broken through his last shred
of faith. But it was difficult for
Adam, even if he had a mind to, to defend himself in the position he was
in. His wife had him cornered, and
he couldn't move. She kept him
busy protecting his face, and he was unable to drop his arms. Before he could get out of the door,
she had, in addition to bloodying his nose, fattened his lip, boxed his ears,
and raked her finger nails across his neck. Satan looked impotently at this scene, smoldering with rage
at the demented wife.
What
was left of the Leeds’ marriage now seemed swept away, as Cora went
berserk. It could never be the
same for them, thought Satan, with these pictures in the reverend’s mind. Before this point, he had already felt
hardened toward her. The wife had
done her job almost too well. Love
and then pity had changed to a grim sense of duty. This had been evident from the first. It had been Adam’s duty to save her,
and it had been his duty to protect her from herself. But it was not his duty to be battered senseless by his own
wife.
“Stop
this Adam,” it cried. “Fight like a man!”
Against
his very nature, Adam emerged from the automobile shaken but ready to do battle
with his wife.
“Good, now defend yourself,” whispered Satan,
wishing Adam could hear.
“You want a piece of me,” she taunted, doubling up
her fists.
“I should’ve done this along time ago,” he said,
switching into the proper stance, as she bobbed and weaved like a pugilist in
an imaginary ring.
After a few lame swings, he found himself in a
boxing match with his wife. A
flurry of fists followed, with Cora on the attack. Unable to psyche himself up, he swung two or three times,
missed, and began losing ground.
It happened too quickly for him to control. Drunken debauchery was one thing and temper tantrums were
quite another, but the scene unfolding now was more than he could bear. Satan understood immediately. Beaten senseless, unable, because of
his scruples, to land a solid punch, he watched in horror as she riddled him
with blows. A jab here, a poke
there, was followed by a sudden uppercut to the jaw. Nothing in the past could have prepared him for what
followed. For a moment, as he
tried gathering his wits, she poked and pounded his stomach and arms as he
protected his face and head. The
Tempter removed itself completely for several moments, soaring high above the
parking lot in a fitful rage.
******
Just
when the outpouring seemed the greatest, fate--if not the Lord,
Himself--stepped in to save him from destruction. A nurse and two hospital orderlies arriving to work and
several visitors walking from the parking lot stopped to watch the attack. The orderlies, at the nurse’s request
and to the applause of the visitors assembled close by, charged forward to stop
this one-sided fight.
“Alright,
that’s quite enough,” the nurse called out, as the orderlies grabbed his
berserk wife. Looking around the
hulks at Adam, she asked pointedly “Is this woman on drugs?”
“No,”
Adam shook his head, “my wife is an alcoholic. I was going to have her committed today.”
“Don’t
you be biting us missy,” warned the large, black orderly, “that’d make my
partner Ulf real mad.”
“Nurse
Hollis,” protested Ulf, “I don’t want rabies shot. Dis woman is foaming at mouth!”
Adam uttered a hysterical laugh. Satan hung quietly in the air,
contemplating this chain of events.
While the two orderlies restrained Cora, Adam stood there with the same
blank expression, reflecting, in a detached manner, upon Cora’s substance abuse
history, from her long period of alcoholism until her most recent binge. According to several experts whose
works he consulted, chronic alcoholics can develop a condition called alcoholic
dementia or psychosis. Unless
there are such things as demons, reflected Adam, Cora is at this state
now. The first orderly, whose
name tag identified him as Sonny, assisted his partner in bringing the woman
gently to her knees and easing her onto her face to avoid being kicked in the
groin and shins. This maneuver,
which was standard procedure, was proving difficult given Cora’s superhuman
strength. Marveling at its
masterpiece, Satan zoomed down, ruffling Cora’s hair.
“Don’t overdo it daughter; I don’t want him
suicidal. Ease off bitch!”
With the greatest of effort, Ulf, the blond giant,
held on for dear life to Cora’s other arm, wincing with imaginary pain as he
dodged her kicking feet. When Cora
was incapacitated on the pavement, she wreathed, gyrated, and shuddered beneath
the two men, gradually wearing down.
Adam watched, with little sympathy, as Cora’s body
bucked once more and suddenly went limp.
Half of him, Satan imagined, the devil-made-me-do-it side, wanted
her to go into convulsions and die.
His compassionate half, however, turned to the nurse and explained
calmly “My wife doesn’t have rabies, but, as you can plainly see, she’s quite
sick.”
“Yes,
so it appears,” observed the nurse. “Dear me, you’ve been injured,” she made a
tsk, tsk sound, while inspecting his wounds.
“I wouldn’t let no bitch work me over like that,”
Sonny grumbled under his breath.
“I tink mebbe,” scoffed Ulf, “I would knock her
out!”
As Ulf restrained her top half and Sonny immobilized
her legs, Nurse Hollis stood ready to assist them in case Cora broke
loose. The audience had grown by
several onlookers. A young woman
had called a friend on her cell phone to explain the bizarre scene, but no one
had thought, this close to a hospital, to call the police.
“She needs a tranquilizer shot,” the nurse
concluded, looking down at the wife. “Sonny, Ulf,” she directed, taking Adam’s
arm, “escort the woman to ER--stat! We’ll be right behind.”
“We
need straight jacket Nurse Hollis,” Ulf grimaced, as Cora squirmed below them
on the ground.
The
nurse called ahead on her cell phone for a straight jacket and two more
orderlies to lend them a hand. In
only a few moments two large fellows, who looked like reformed drug addicts,
themselves, arrived on the scene.
One of them, whose name was Ike, carried an emergency kit and the other,
Woody, dangled a straight jacket over his arm. Although it was legal to restrain persons in a psychotic
state, Cora would have to be examined by a doctor before being given a
tranquilizer shot. As Adam watched
with interest, the jacket was quickly fastened to her torso by Woody and, as
added precaution, a strap was wrapped around her ankles too. For good measure, in case she went into
convulsions and swallowed her tongue, a special strap from Ike’s emergency kit,
that reminded Adam of a horse bit, was placed in Cora’s mouth. Nurse Hollis also called ahead to
request that a doctor be waiting for them, hopefully with a massive
tranquilizer ready, when they arrived.
Adam was impressed with their service and thanked his rescuers profusely
as the orderlies carried his wife squirming, fuming but totally incapacitated
across the lot. It appeared as if
she might not only be admitted for alcoholism but could be committed for
psychiatric reasons as well.
“Trussed
up like a pig, she is!” Satan cackled with mirth, circling around the group.
Satan’s
icy laughter was felt as bursts of cold air in Cora’s ear. Adam, though distracted, sensed its
presence too. When they arrived at
what he thought was the emergency psychiatric ward, Doctor Marwas Singhman, the
on duty emergency room physician, immediately ordered her taken to a holding room
and had Adam’s wound attended to by the nurse.
******
While strapped to a gurney, Cora was observed from a
safe distance by Doctor Singhman, who, with a male nurse’s assistance,
immediately administered a shot.
There was no question in the doctor’s mind that she was in a psychotic
state of mind. He could not smell
alcohol on her breath. Without
testing her, he didn’t know whether or not she had taken drugs. Doctor Singhman jotted down his
thoughts on his clipboard, adding in underlined letters Need drug
screen and toxicology tests.
Almost
at once, as the sedative was administered, the fury that Cora expressed was
replaced by the groggy twilight world Adam had often seen. The doctor smiled warily as he
introduced Jim, the large Samoan nurse, and himself. The two men then waited patiently, with arms folded, as she
tried saying her name.
“I
tink she say Co-ra,” Jim translated, craning his ear. “Dat last name sound like
Lee, but I’m not sure.”
“This is indeed awkward,” the doctor commented as
the woman’s eyes fell to half mast. “I cannot get a blood sample without her
permission, which must be obtained when she is sober, which the shot has just
cancelled out.”
At his signal, the nurse sat the medicine tray down
and poured the woman a cup of water from a pitcher on his cart.
“I am thinking this woman doesn’t want to be here,”
Doctor Singhman whispered to Jim. “There are several witnesses to this fact,
but that is academic now. If it
was up to me, I’d run a whole bunch of tests.”
Jim nodded his wooly head. “Now, drink this ma’am,”
he murmured gently, holding a Dixie cup up to her lips.
“It’s quite academic,” the doctor explained to Jim
as she gulped down a second cup. “The woman, after all, didn’t give her
consent. That nincompoop husband
of hers parked in the ER parking lot, instead of pulling into the mental
hospital next store.
Jim
looked at her with concern, his gigantic frame belying a gentle natured
giant. “She be real thirsty,
doctor, probably dehydrated. Too
bad you can’t run dem tests.”
The doctor shrugged, reminding Jim of the state law
requiring written consent from drug addicts and alcoholics being admitted to
the Substance Abuse Ward. Cora, in
fact, drank several cups of water, and her skin had a jaundiced color,
indicating ill health, but there was no way to know her physical condition or
whether or not she had been under the influence of an illegal drug without an
examination and tests.
In spite of the restrictions, the doctor gave her a
brief examination, as Jim hovered nearby.
“What drug have you taken?” He asked, checking the
pulse in her neck.
“You...give...me...drug,” her tongue lolled thickly
in her mouth.
“I know, but that was a sedative,” he
explained, flashing a pen light into her eyes. “What drugs did you take today?”
“None...Just...drug...you...gave. . .me,” her jaws
moved in slow motion.
“Of course,” he sighed, placing his
stethoscope on her chest, “the only way left to prove she took drugs is a drug
screen and toxicology test.”
Her heart, like her pulse, he noted with satisfaction,
was beating normally for a sedated patient. If the woman had taken drugs, they had been camouflaged by
the tranquilizer administered to her just now.
“Thanks to that shot,” he glanced down
anxiously, “it’s a wonder she remembers her name.”
“It be Co-ra Lee,” replied Jim.
“Judging by what I’ve heard from
eyewitnesses, this Miss Lee was on something powerful like PCP or crack,” he
remarked, flashing his light into her mouth.
“Mebbe dis woman really don’t take drugs,”
the Samoan said thoughtfully, stroking her head. “Mebbe she just plain
crazy. Insane folks don’t remember
much.”
“Especially,” observed the doctor, “if
they’re afraid of arrest. This
woman made quite a fuss. I’ve seen
those symptoms too many times before, Jim. She could, I grant you, be psychotic as the nurse suggests,
but this drug I gave her was formulated for drug addicts, not psychos. And for Miss Lee, it worked almost too
well.” “Look at this,” he whistled under her breath. “Take a peak inside.”
“Her gums have pyorrhea, her teeth be rotting
and she got bad breath,” Jim made a face.
“Correct,” Doctor Singhman nodded with
approval. “Now look at this,” he said, quickly removing her straight jacket and
undoing her restraints, “You see Jim, . . . she’s like silly putty—harmless as
a fly.” “Look what happens when I
raise her arm up.” He experimented whimsically. “. . . Unlike mental patients,
who have been given Thorazine and whose arms remain uplifted like boards until
forced down, it flops right down like a dead fish.” “And look when I drop one of her legs;” he whistled under
his breath, “I get the same flaccid response.”
“Dat stuff work good doctor,” Jim’s eyes
twinkled with amusement. “Ten minutes ago she act like she possessed!”
“It worked too good,” the doctor said
wistfully, rubbing his jaw. “She went under too deeply. That sedative worked too fast. I wished a psychiatrist or specialist
could have seen her before it took effect.”
The doctor wrote another note on his
clipboard pad: If she’s not on drugs, this woman should have been taken to
the psychiatric ward! Why
wasn’t this done in the proper way?
“I must ask you Miss Lee, even though it’s irrelevant in your
frame of mind,” he searched the woman’s face. “Did you want to be committed for
substance abuse? Was this your
husband’s idea? Or was it yours?”
“No-o-o-o-o-o!” She screamed hoarsely, a drool
escaping her lip. “I wanna go home!”
The doctor heaved a sigh and mumbled into Jim’s ear,
“Keep your eye on this woman while I chat with Mister Lee. I must break the bad news to him. I would like find out from her husband
if she took drugs.”
******
As she lie strapped to the gurney, Jim remained on
guard as he exited the room, clipboard in hand, a frown fixed on his dark brown
face.
In the holding room, Satan appeared briefly as a
ghostly filament to Cora, as Jim looked on. The nurse, who was on the in-house phone talking to a
friend, did a double-take as the specter hovered over the woman a moment and
then, as an ocean-going medusa, began rotating around the room.
“Hector, hold on a moment,” he gasped, muffling the
receiver of the phone.
Cora lie there blinking up at the ceiling, a vacant
expression on her face. After
seeing all manner of creeping and crawling things in her deliriums, she was
unimpressed with this lackluster specter yet followed it momentarily with her
eyes.
“You see dat, don’t you ma’am?” Jim said, reaching
out as if to capture it in mid-air. “It look like smoke wit eyes.” “You be
hexed,” he made a sign. “My mama tell me about island spirits, but I don’t
b’lieve dat stuff. Mebbe I been in
ER too long. Mebbe I be seeing
hallucinations myself!”
“Dee Tees,” Cora’s said breathlessly, trying to
raise up.
“No, I don’t be seeing the same hallucination as
you. You a witch, that what you
be,” he backed away toward the door.
******
Walking in no hurry down the well polished hall, his
attention splintered by a cacophony of ER’s ills, Doctor Singhman approached
the husband with a jaundiced eye. It
seemed to be an open-and-shut case to him, but his hands were tied by state
laws and hospital rules. There was
not much he could really do.
“I
understand that your wife is an alcoholic but she is behaving as if she might
be on crack or PCP,” his sing-song accent grated immediately upon Adam’s
nerves.
“She’s
been an alcoholic for three years,” Adam frowned. “I was going to commit her to
the Alcoholic Treatment Center here at the county hospital. She agreed—”
“What
sort of drugs has Misses Lee taken in the past?” interrupted the doctor. “I
must determine the facts.”
“Excuse me,” Adam winced as Nurse Hollis continued
to dab the scratches on his face with medication, “not you ma’am. Doctor my wife, whose name is Cora Leeds—not
Lee, is an al-co-hol-ic,” he emphasized each syllable irritably. “That is the fact. The only drugs she has taken in the
past are prescription drugs to help her sleep. She must be committed for alcoholism, not drugs.”
“She
cannot be committed unless she gives her consent,” the doctor rejected this
suggestion outright. “Now sir,” he continued brusquely, “what kind of
prescription drug did she take. Do
you know its name?”
“I
don’t know what its called,” Adam looked at him in disbelief. “You’re not
listening to me, doctor. My wife
needs serious help. She needs to
dry out and get clean. Her
addiction is alcohol, not drugs, so it’s not important what drug she took. The only reason she took the pills
awhile back was to help her sleep.
She’s addicted to booze!”
Doctor
Singhman began writing something on his clipboard humming incoherently to
himself as he wrote: Call family physician as soon as possible to find
out woman’s condition. Humming under his breath
or whistling off key meant he was losing his patience. Although Marwas seldom lost his temper,
his closest colleagues and subordinates understood this as a signal to back
off. By his eccentric actions,
he struck Adam as a caricature, not a real doctor at all, when, in fact, he had
Cora’s best interest at heart.
“The
problem is Mister Leeds,” he looked up from his notes, tapping his finger in
rhythm and whistling and humming under his breath, “she must be examined
thoroughly, but in order to commit her we need her consent.”
“Her
consent?” Objected Adam. “Her brains are scrambled. Why do you need her consent?”
“Since
it was necessary to sedate her,” Doctor Singhman explained edgily, “that is a
moot point. Nevertheless, I must
make sure she is alright before letting her go home.”
“You’re letting her go home? I don’t believe this!” Adam uttered a
wounded cry. “You can’t tell she’s a raving lunatic? You saw her a moment ago. Your nurse and orderlies saw her foaming at the mouth. Ulf thought she had rabies, for
Christ’s sake!”
“There’s
not been a case of rabies in Los Angeles for many years,” Doctor Singhman
replied dismissively, looking back at his notes. “You are not cooperating
Mister Leeds,” his voice sounded condescending. “You must realize that your wife was in an agitated state when
she arrived in ER. When she gives
her written consent, we might have a psychiatrist give her a look-see. If she’s still acting strange—”
“Wait
a minute! What did you say?” Adam
clasped his forhead with despair. “You’re not a psychiatrist? This isn’t a mental hospital? I thought this was the emergency
psychiatric ward. Why am I talking
to you?”
“This
is the emergency room, period,” the doctor appraised him incredulously.
“I am an ER doctor, not a shrink.
You were injured on our property, so you were brought here. The county psychiatric and substance
abuse wings are also in this hospital, but your wife is merely in a holding
room, where the police and authorities place suspects high on drugs. Though it makes no difference, you
turned into the wrong parking lot.”
“This is ER of the county hospital,” he repeated, as Adam grew
apoplectic, “not the psychiatric wing.”
Adam
was beside himself with anger.
After watching the bespectacled Indian doctor look up nervously over his
bifocals and then scribble something else on his pad, he flew into a tantrum.
“You pompous, overbearing, medical bureaucratic son-of-a-bitch! I want to commit my wife; I have that
right. I know the law. I’ve seen it often enough on TV. Someone goes berserk—out of control—and
his spouse or relatives commits him.
I thought that’s how it worked.
Now I have to wait for her consent?”
“That’s
not the law,” said the nurse, applying the finishing touches to the dressings
on his face, “that’s television.
These are shallow scratches, so let the air get to them, but that
scratch on your neck is deep. Keep
the bandage on until a scab forms.
The cuts on your knuckles are minor too.”
“Do
you have an insurance card?” Asked the doctor, this time in a deadpan voice.
Adam
was too upset to speak. His gray
eyes smoldered with rage. Doctor
Singhman had been ready to call hospital security until Adam sat down
light-headedly in a nearby chair.
Reaching into his back pocket, Adam pulled out his wallet and handed his
card to an administrative assistant, who appeared suddenly in the room.
“Oh
goodie, this provider covers emergency—one hundred percent,” she piped pertly.
“Be back in a jiff!”
“Let
met see that a moment,” demanded the doctor, clipping it to his board and
quickly copying down information from the card.
Doctor Marwas Singhman exited the room directly
behind the clerk, who scurried ahead to Hospital Admissions with the card held
daintily in her hand. Nurse
Hollis, whose first name, Penelope, Adam noted blankly, was inscribed on her
name tag, smiled at him, a trace of compassion in her brown eyes, but she too
exited without a word.
******
It seemed as though God had forsaken him. He couldn’t even muster up a
prayer. Moving numbly out of the
ER examination room into the hall, he stood there wondering what else might
befall him today. Perhaps there
might be an earthquake, he thought giddily, or maybe the building might catch
on fire.
The first to return to the room was the
administrative assistant with a clipboard and pen. The attractive little brunette, whose name tag identified
her simply as Lisa - Hospital Admissions, had large blue eyes and a crinkly
voice, but she reminded him too much of his wife. As she stood there waiting for him to sign insurance forms
for Cora and himself, he could not help, even in his overwrought state of mind,
to marvel at her remarkable resemblance to Cora, his fallen wife. When she handed him back his medical
card, her lovely fingers brushed the knuckles of his hand. He listened with mounting irritation to
her explain hospital policy about a patient’s consent if admitted by a spouse
or relative, noting the stamp across the top INSURANCE 100% PAID IN FULL, but
wondering what hidden costs might be entailed if Cora’s “holding costs” were
tallied in. All these bastards
care about is money; they don’t care about people, he thought petulantly,
glancing at the remainder of the forms.
Adam’s liberal and left-leaning philosophy was prickled by their grubby
attitude, reinforcing his belief that the government should provide insurance
free, from cradle to grave, without all this red tape. Why couldn’t they have just admitted
his troublesome wife?
“You’re
stamp tells me that all this is paid for,” he acknowledged with a pained
expression, “but my insurance covers my wife’s alcoholism too. Why can’t I just commit the bitch and
be done with it. Why do I need her
consent?”
“It’s
hospital rules. It’s also the
law,” parroted Lisa, with a perfunctory smile.
At just that moment Doctor Singhman and Jim,
the huge Samoan orderly, returned with a wheelchair, in which, to Adam’s grief,
sat Cora, his wife. Though her
hair was still mussed, she appeared to have been cleaned up. A placid look on her face belied the
rage that had boiled inside her brain.
Adam was so upset with this scene he almost broke down in tears. Cora actually smiled at him, which made
him hate her that much more.
“What
is the meaning of this?” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “That’s not the snarling
thing strapped into a straight jacket moments ago. What did you do to her, doctor--give her more drugs?”
“Of
course, she was psychotic,” Doctor Singhman frowned.
“Please keep your voice down,” the orderly
cautioned, placing a monstrous finger on his lips.
Adam
pushed angrily passed him to confront the doctor and his wife. “Doctor Marwas
Singhman,” he admonished him bitterly, “shame on you for copping out. What kind of doctor are you? You examined her. She was demented. Her drinking’s pickled her brain. I want her cured, not sent back home!”
“But
you wife has calmed down,” the doctor explained delicately at first, nudging
the wheelchair forward gently with his palm. “More importantly,” he suppressed
a smile, “she does not want to be committed. She wants to go home.
What’s more I called doctor Bledsoe, the primary physician on your card
and he said ‘she’s as healthy as a horse.’” “This is most peculiar,” he heaved
a sigh, “but he agrees with you that she is addicted to alcohol and not drugs. I also talked to Nurse Hollis a moment
ago. She tells me that your wife
beat you up.”
“Go
wan, Cora,” he called out with mirth, “apologize to your husband. You don’t want him to press charges and
have you put in jail.”
“Sorry,”
she murmured in a hoarse voice.
Adam
was aghast at this turn of events.
Doctor Singhman felt he had wasted enough time on this pair. He would record this episode in his
medical diary as “one for the books.”
“Sorry?
. . . She’s sorry?” Adam muttered in desolation. “After ruining my life, my
career and peace of mind, everything’s just peachy now, because my drugged wife
says she’s sorry!”
“Now-now, Cora,” the doctor chided with a chuckle,
“you can certainly do better than that!
I am thinking more on the lines of a hug and a kiss.”
At that point the doctor, who half-heartedly sought
their reconciliation, broke into giggles at this charade. The nurses and the administrative
clerk, to their credit, merely smiled.
“This
is not happening,” Adam looked around with amazement at the group assembled in
the room. “Doctor Singhman, who examined this raving lunatic, is sending her
home. Why are you laughing
doctor? This isn’t funny!” “I don’t believe you called Doctor
Bledsoe,” he wrung his finger at him accusingly, “our doctor’s never in his
office. A nurse or medical
assistant answers his phone.
Doesn’t anyone remember this woman entering ER? This is disgraceful. Cora needs help. You all saw how she behaved. Are you all deaf as well as blind?”
“I
think she’s a witch!” The big Samoan pointed accusingly at his wife.
“But we’re governed by hospital rules,” Lisa chimed.
“To tell you the truth, I thought she was insane,”
Nurse Hollis declared with a shrug, “but Lisa’s right; it’s a hospital
rule.”
“It’s also the law!” Lisa stepped forward dutifully
again.
“Oh
yeah—the rules and the law, that’s what Betty Boop says,” Adam eyed the
administrative assistant and doctor with disdain. “Your orderly thinks she’s a
witch, Ulf thought she had rabies, now Nurse Hollis thinks she’s insane, but
you think she’s okay, right doc?”
“Why? Because she’s
drugged. I guess I should just let
her stay high all the time!” He glared at the doctor. “You’re just going to
play it by the book, aren’t you Doctor Singhman? You didn’t talk to Bledsoe; he knows she’s a drunk. What if she sticks a knife into me
tonight while I’m sleeping? Are
you going to commit her then?”
Satan’s
essence fell suddenly over Adam, but the ER examining room was already frigid,
and he had experienced this too many times before. Jim noticed the sudden drop, however. He would apologize to his aging mother
for doubting her all these years.
Doctor Singhman and Nurse Hollis exchanged dubious looks, themselves, as
the administrative assistant backed away toward the door.
Adam shivered as the cold air fell over him, aware
of the Tempter in the room.
Something evil had anchored itself in his life. It was becoming increasingly difficult
for him to believe it was God.
Doctor Singhman had begun walking out of the room, a troubled expression
on his face, but was stung by Adam’s latest insult.
“Working in a downtown ER has obviously hardened
you, Adam was saying indignantly. “You laughed at my misfortune and mocked me
in front of your cohorts and my wife.
Perhaps all the drunks, drug addicts, criminals, and misfits entering
through ER’s doors have shaken your Hippocratic oath. . . But that doesn’t
excuse your behavior Doctor Singhman.
You’re still a doctor.
This is still a hospital!”
Doctor
Singhman’s jaws tightened. Satan,
who thought he showed remarkable control, nevertheless taunted him with gusts
of air as it listened to its protégé’s rage. Miss Hollis, its time to call security, the doctor
signaled by holding an imaginary telephone to his ear. Obediently, but in slow motion, the
nurse reached down into a pocket for her cell phone. She did not want to cause Adam anymore pain.
“If my wife gets worse and things turn out badly for
us as I suspect they will, I’ll sue you for incompetence Doctor Singhman!” Adam vowed shrilly. “You can bank on that!”
“Nurse Hollis,” the doctor said from the corner of
his mouth, “make that Goddamn call!”
“You must gather up your wife and leave immediately
Mister Leeds,” Nurse Hollis declared, “or I’ll call Hospital Security.” “Please,” she made scooting motions
with her hands, “this has been a trying time for all of us. Remember to change the dressing on your
wounds and keep them clean. Who
knows, maybe your wife will come in on her own. She has to want to be helped. She must give her consent.”
“Oh, I do appreciate your efforts at patching
me and your unsolicited advise,” he gave Nurse Hollis a bitter smile, “but she
won’t do that. She’s on a path of
destruction, and she’s taking me with her.” “As for my wounds,” he pointed to his
chest, motioning with the other hand to Cora’s head, “it’s broken in here and
in there—inside her thick skull. . . You can’t fix the human spirit with
bandages and medicine, not when it’s already dead. . . . All I wanted was a
little peace. . . All I wanted was sanity in my life.”
His voice trailed off to sob which he held back with
the back of his hand. Jim, the
Samoan nurse, after a signal from the doctor, and Lisa, the administrative
assistant, after a nod from the nurse, quietly left the room. Cora collapsed in the wheelchair, her
head wobbling comically on her neck as the tranquilizer’s effect worsened in
her brain.
“In spite of everything I’ve had to put up,” he
studied the doctor’s stony expression, “I’ve treated this woman with far more
decency than she deserves, but all I get is sarcasm and mocking insincerity
from you. You think I don’t want
to wring her neck after what she did to me? I’m a minister of God, for Christ’s sake. I can’t do that!” “. . . Come on bitch, let’s go home,”
he then called back abruptly to his wife.
A
young nurse’s aid appeared out of nowhere to begin pushing Cora’s wheelchair to
the emergency entrance of the building.
Doctor Singhman’s whistling and humming did not work
this time. He was very upset about
Adam’s attitude and his mentally unbalanced wife. The reverend kept his back to him as he departed, for tears
had begun rolling down his cheeks.
The doctor stood there, with folded arms, shaking his swarthy head. “Let
me tell you something Mister Leeds,” he called out belatedly as the doors to
the visitor’s lobby suddenly opened and Adam waited for the Cora’s wheelchair
to catch up. “You cannot dump your
problems off like unwanted trash.
It is your fault that you take abuse from her, if she’s not right in the
head. If my wife treated me like
that I would punch her in the nose!”
“But
Doctor Singhman,” Adam could hear Nurse Hollis’ voice fade in the distance,
“you don’t have a wife. I think
you underestimate that woman. Two
of our best orderlies could barely contain her. She acted as if she was possessed!”
Before departing, itself, Satan lowered the
temperature further in the room, so that the doctor and nurse noticed the
change. Doctor Singhman, who was
used to the air conditioner running full blast in the emergency room, had
merely shuddered at first, fastening the last buttons on his coat. Nurse Hollis checked the thermostat on
the wall. As Satan wound around
them as a tiny weather front, however, they grew increasingly alarmed. This freak air current was more than
mere air conditioning. Perhaps,
the doctor told himself, he had caught one of the many viruses lurking in
ER. He laughed nervously to
himself as Nurse Hollis voiced her concerns.
“I don’t care what you write in your report,” she
said to the doctor, “something’s not right about this. I just checked the thermostat on the
hall, and it hasn’t changed from the sixty-five degrees normally set for
ER. But this room is frigid
now. There was something evil
about that woman, doctor Singhman.
No drug can hide it; I saw it in her eyes!”
******
“Did you hear that Cora?” Adam called back
light-headedly as the nurses aid remained in the emergency zone with his
wife, “It’s on the record and from
the mouth of a nurse: you’re possessed. She saw it in your eyes. Maybe I should get us a priest!”
Cora laughed, without comprehension, at her
husband’s joke. The nurse’s aid
stood protectively behind the wheelchair, both hands clenched firmly around its
grips. As she waited for
transportation to arrive, she chatted patiently with her charge. Cora was slack-jawed, sleepy-eyed and
had trouble holding up her head.
This didn’t surprise the nurse’s aid, however, since she had assisted
mentally handicapped patients many times before. When a drool escaped Cora’s lip, she removed a Kleenex from
her pocket and wiped her mouth. In
her Christian mind, Cora was to be pitied. Her mind was obviously defective or burned out on alcohol or
drugs.
Adam, a liberal Protestant, who disapproved of
conservative Roman Catholicism, laughed hysterically to himself, too. A priest performing an exorcism
on my wife, he rolled the notion around in his thoughts. What a novel idea! Why didn’t I think of this before?
Disoriented by his emotions, he wandered around
several moments before locating his car.
He was half-weeping, half-cursing when he finally spotted his automobile
in the lot. A hospital rule had
forbidden him from committing his wife.
Another hospital rule was forcing him to pick her up and take her
home. As he pulled up to the
pickup zone, the nurse’s aid stood there in back of Cora’s wheelchair, a bright
eyed expression on her freckly face.
As she brought the wheelchair up to the curb, he had the urge to tip her
but remembered this was done only for valets.
The name on her name tag identified her as Nancy
Jessup - Nurse’s Aid, but he knew she was much more. A silver cross around her neck and the tiny “Jesus Loves
You” sticker below her name identified her as a Christian—the born again
variety judging by the saying. Her
hands were gentle and she had warm hazel eyes. The golden curls beneath her nurse’s cap made it seem as if
a halo surrounded her head. In
spite of her lilting voice and angelic smile, however, he was annoyed by her
pious “Mother Teresa” airs. She
was, as an instrument of the hospital, giving him back his wife. He watched, with irritation, as she
opened the back door of the automobile and lovingly helped Cora to her
feet. Then, as she helped his wife
into the backseat, he yielded to temptation, shoving Cora rudely into his
car. Nancy frowned but said
nothing as Cora plopped down heavily onto the seat.
Without thanking or tipping the woman, he climbed
into the front seat and began pulling away from the curb. Out of malicious pleasure now, he
reached back with a free hand, before he was out of visual range, and thumped
Cora’s head. The nurse’s aid stood
in front of ER, as he drove away, a concerned look on her freckled face. He watched in his rearview mirror as
the white-uniformed and golden-headed shape in front of the building raised its
celestial hand in parting then disappeared as a mirage from his sight. The yearning inside him for the nurse’s
aid was replaced by a longing for Nancy Jessup’s simple faith.
******
The doctor had done him a favor, he thought
giddily. The powerful tranquilizer
he gave Cora would make her behave.
From a psychotic state, she had become, thanks to the ER doctor, docile
again, almost catatonic, a familiar expression settling over her face. She would be in a twilight world for
several hours.
In this zombie-like trance, which differed little
from drunken comportment, she slouched in the back seat, the complete opposite
of what she had been this morning.
In his rear view mirror, the transition seemed laughable: she was slack
jawed now, her features frozen in complete lethargy, her vacant blue eyes
staring fixedly into space. Once
again a drool escaped her lower lip.
He watched her long lashes droop to half mast again. Soon, after slumping onto her side, she
was displaying her favorite state of mind: unconsciousness.
“Perfect!” He flashed a crooked smile into the
mirror.
As
his wife slept, Adam drove quietly home.
Only moments ago he had wept quietly to himself, but now he felt an
inexplicable relief. He was glad
to have the front seat to himself.
Cora was manageable again, but he couldn't stomach her presence. He didn’t have to see her leering at
him in his rearview mirror as she had done this morning when they left the
house. Now that she had collapsed
in the backseat, he wouldn't have to see her at all. But her Lilac of the Fields perfume, still strong in the
car, belied the normal odors of cigarette smoke and booze, and her snoring was
especially loud. Reaching back as
he stopped at a light, he gave her another thump.
A
power he dare not contemplate rode with him now. The mischievous air circulating in the car, blew warmly this
time as if in approval, which went unnoticed by Adam this time.
Rolling the window down several centimeters, he
welcomed fresh air into the car.
He was reminded now of his ambience and the excitement he felt. It had been odorless and, for most of
the time, cold as the morning air.
Now, as the noon hour approached, the air blowing into the car was warm,
but it carried gas fumes and traces of smog. He remembered that special point when the temperature in his
study had mysteriously risen.
Unlike his breeze, which had also gone from cold to warm, this air moved
aimlessly through his car, as airstreams do. Sensing his mood, Satan toyed with the idea of giving him a
real display, but instead gradually lowered the temperature in the car, until
Adam was aware once again of the change.
&